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Woman bans sister-in-law's baby daughter from coming to birthday for heartbreaking reason

Mirror logo Mirror 13/11/2017 Zahra Mulroy
person holding a baby: Credits: Getty © Provided by Trinity Mirror Shared Services Limited Credits: Getty

Infertility has the ability to not just shatter a person's confidence and happiness, but it can also strike at the heart of a relationship.

In many instances, it's also the wider family circle who feel the devastating effects, too.

One mum recently discovered this, when her infant daughter was excluded from a get-together.

Describing a situation, painful for all concerned, the mum says how her sister-in-law banned her 4-month old daughter from a family birthday party, because her fertility struggles make it tough for her to be around the baby.

This sounds perfectly understandable, but in this instance, there's a bit more to it than that.

"It's not something I wanted to post but I need advice," the mum wrote on Mumsnet.

"I have a four month old daughter, the first grandchild for my parents, I am the youngest of four.

"My brother and his wife have been trying to conceive for over four years."

The mum explains how she is very close to her "people pleaser" brother, and has been understanding of the fact his wife has chosen to ignore her at several events.

However, it's now birthday season in the mum's family, and one of the celebrations happens to be for her brother's 40th, with a full weekend of fun planned.

a woman sitting on a bench: Credits: Getty Images © Provided by Trinity Mirror Shared Services Limited Credits: Getty Images

She continues, "It's a big family thing where all the children from her side have been invited including her nieces and nephews (ages from one month old to 7 years).

"My partner and I have been invited but not my daughter as it's too hard for her to see her.

"My brother on the other hand sees her as much as possible but alone.

"Would I be unreasonable to take this personally? It's very hard to be singled out because obviously I won't be going anywhere without her."

a woman cutting a cake: Credits: Getty © Provided by Trinity Mirror Shared Services Limited Credits: Getty

Infertility is without a doubt one of the most painful struggles a person can face, but the sister-in-law's inclusion of her own nieces and nephews made other mums suspicious.

"I can understand why having babies around would be tough," wrote one mum, "but why does that not also apply to her side of the family?

"If it's a 'no children' event fair enough, but it does sound like your daughter is being unfairly singled out."

Other mums agreed.

"I'd be finding it difficult not to take this personally," another added. "No children or no babies at all I could understand. 

a group of people sitting at a table eating food © Provided by Trinity Mirror Shared Services Limited

"But banning your 4 month old baby and inviting other children, including a younger baby? How are you supposed to not take that personally?"

However, others speculated whether there was more to the sister-in-law's actions than the mum perhaps realised.

One mum even asked, "I also wondered if your pregnancy coincided with a pregnancy that she lost. That would explain why she's focusing her hurt on your daughter."

Whatever the actual truth behind the sister-in-law's actions, it sounds as if she is having a hard time, and as one mum put it, "horrible as this is for you, it's almost certainly worse for her."

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