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Things you should never do inside an airport after two men "pretended to be suitcases"

Mirror logo Mirror 30/04/2017 Nicola Oakley
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Airports are funny places where time can stand still, you find it acceptable to drink in the morning and get a bargain on that perfume you've wanted for ages.

But there are also strict rules people need to adhere to in airports if they don't want to get, well, arrested - or if they don't want to worry other holidaymakers.

Security has been made tighter in recent years and sometimes it feels like you can't even look in the direction of guards in case they suspect you of doing something wrong (clearly you're just feeling guilty about the huge bag of sweets you bought for the plane).

Staff at Newcastle airport were not impressed this week after two men got on the luggage carousel at check-in and allegedly "pretended to be suitcases" - getting as far as the departure lounge.

This is an example of something you shouldn't do at an airport. As if that needed to be said.

But if you want to sail through check-in and security without a hitch, take a look at Chronicle Live's list of things you shouldn't do once you enter an airport.

1. Don't say the 'b word'

Thinking about reliving the 90s and calling something "the bomb"? Don't choose this moment to do so. Bizarrely, people tend to get worried if they hear the word 'bomb' in airports.

Security will be on you faster than you can say "I was only joking".

2. Don't leave your baggage unattended

This is frowned upon. Ever hear those warnings over the tannoy at train stations telling you not to leave your bags on their own? It's even more serious at airports.

Just keep them with you at all times - even if you're popping to the loo - if you don't want a controlled explosion carried out on your bikinis.

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3. Don't pretend to be suitcases

Apparently, people need to be reminded of this. Men of Newcastle, we're talking to you. (Well, two of you).

An airport spokesman said: “We take the safety and security of passengers very seriously and, whilst this incident appears to have had no malicious intent, behaviour such as this will not be tolerated.”

4. Don't turn up drunk

And don't take advantage of the cheap drinks in the departure lounge 'Spoons.

You might not be able to board your flight if you're too inebriated and you'll regret missing out on your holiday.

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5. Don't test your stand-up routine

An airport is not the place to be trialling out any new material you’ve come up with.

Don’t try out any new jokes on check-in staff, and definitely don’t test the patience of any security staff.

6. Don't lose your rag

Airports can be the most frustrating places on the planet - especially if your flight is delayed.

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But getting angry isn't going to get you anywhere faster, so take a deep breath and treat staff with respect.

7. Don't take it personally

There’s always a chance that you will get picked out for an extra pat-down, or your bag will get a more thorough examination than others.

Don’t take it to heart - security staff are merely doing their jobs and carrying out extra random checks.

And, obviously, stick to the rules

Can't be bothered taking your shampoo out of your suitcase to put in a clear plastic bag? Just do it. The rules are there for a reason and it could delay you in the long run.

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