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4 Ways to Have a More Lustful Marriage

Best Health Logo By Karen Robock of Best Health | Slide 1 of 6: Take it from me: I’ve been married for a solid decade, and my husband and I dated for eight years before we tied the knot. It’s safe to say we’ve had a lot of sex, and it has changed just as much over the years.
Here’s the part where I’m supposed to lament the bygone, carefree casual-dating days of my youth – the swipe-right chapter of my sex life. That thrill of sleeping with someone new and those incredibly hot, rip-the-other-person’s-clothes-off encounters that seem to go along with youth and a new-found lover are gone. But the truth is, I’m quite satisfied with the not-often-spontaneous, somewhat scripted, occasionally too occasional sex of midlife. It’s richer, more connected and somehow just as steamy as it was when we met in our 20s.
When it comes to long-term love, sexual desire is bound to ebb and flow. And sure, like most couples, we’ve had our share of dry spells. Sex definitely falls off the agenda when someone is sick, if one of us is working crazy hours or stress levels are skyrocketing, and certainly in the weeks and months after our kids were born. But with some work, we’ve always found our way back. After 18 years, we still have passionate sex.
I have no idea what goes on in other people’s bedrooms, but world-renowned psychosexual therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer certainly does. She has been helping couples between the sheets for decades and written more than 40 books, including Sex for Dummies, which is now in its fourth edition. Dr. Ruth believes long-term love can and should be sexy, but you should expect to work at it. “A relationship has to be sustained, like a fire,” she says. “You have to make sure that the glow and spark continue.”
Read on for proven strategies to boost libido and keep you connected – and connecting.
(Also, check out what you need to know about sex in your 40s.)

Let’s be real: Married sex is not third-date sex

Take it from me: I’ve been married for a solid decade, and my husband and I dated for eight years before we tied the knot. It’s safe to say we’ve had a lot of sex, and it has changed just as much over the years.

Here’s the part where I’m supposed to lament the bygone, carefree casual-dating days of my youth – the swipe-right chapter of my sex life. That thrill of sleeping with someone new and those incredibly hot, rip-the-other-person’s-clothes-off encounters that seem to go along with youth and a new-found lover are gone. But the truth is, I’m quite satisfied with the not-often-spontaneous, somewhat scripted, occasionally too occasional sex of midlife. It’s richer, more connected and somehow just as steamy as it was when we met in our 20s.

When it comes to long-term love, sexual desire is bound to ebb and flow. And sure, like most couples, we’ve had our share of dry spells. Sex definitely falls off the agenda when someone is sick, if one of us is working crazy hours or stress levels are skyrocketing, and certainly in the weeks and months after our kids were born. But with some work, we’ve always found our way back. After 18 years, we still have passionate sex.

I have no idea what goes on in other people’s bedrooms, but world-renowned psychosexual therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer certainly does. She has been helping couples between the sheets for decades and written more than 40 books, including Sex for Dummies, which is now in its fourth edition. Dr. Ruth believes long-term love can and should be sexy, but you should expect to work at it. “A relationship has to be sustained, like a fire,” she says. “You have to make sure that the glow and spark continue.”

Read on for proven strategies to boost libido and keep you connected – and connecting.

(Also, check out what you need to know about sex in your 40s.)

© Image Credit: Shutterstock

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