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Puberty hits Hawkins! What the Stranger Things 3 trailer taught us

The Guardian logo The Guardian 20/03/2019 Stuart Heritage
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Watch: Stranger Things 3 [Esquire UK]

We’ve been waiting for the third series of Stranger Things since October 2017 – and we still won’t get to see it until July – but now at least we have something to tide us over. A trailer for Stranger Things 3 has just dropped with all the weight of a neutron bomb. Netflix will do everything in its power to make sure you watch it.

Luckily, the trailer also contains a ton of information. Here are five things we’ve learned:

1. Everyone is back

More than anything, the trailer serves as a roll call for everyone you’ve come to know and love. The main cast are present and correct, obviously, but so are all the tangential figures, like Brett Gelman’s sleazy PI and Dacre Montgomery’s raging douchebag. Better yet, we get briefly introduced to two new characters: Cary Elwes’ Mayor Kline (probably fulfilling the Matthew Modine/Paul Reiser role of Guy From The 80s Who Might Be Evil) and Jake Busey, glimpsed briefly playing The Buseyest-Looking Human Being in All of History.

2. The cast aren’t kids any more

© getty

We know this partly because someone says ‘We’re not kid any more’ out loud during the trailer and partly because, well, look at them. The kids are now deep in the clutches of puberty – Gaten Matarazzo is coming up for 17, Caleb McLaughlin will literally become an adult this year – and they have the long faces and gangly limbs to prove it. It’s wise of Stranger Things to acknowledge this growth, but as yet nobody knows how much it will feature as a storyline.

3. They might want to return to the Upside Down

Early in the trailer we see the gang erecting a vast aerial in the middle of a field. Could this mean they’re trying to contact someone? Could it be that they’re trying to reach across and form a new portal into the Upside Down? It’s either that or Eleven wants to phone those numpties she met in that terrible one-off episode from series two, and that honestly wouldn’t bear thinking about.

© getty

4. There are new dangers to face

Although the Duffer Brothers have claimed that this new series will be much smaller in scale than its sprawling predecessor, it still looks as if there’s a ton of stuff to be scared of here. There’s a gun-toting assassin, a bloke in a Slipknot costume, a disappearing bathtub, an enormous screaming pink Demogorgony-looking buffalo thing and – as previously mentioned – Jake Busey looking like someone has distilled his entire ancestral DNA into a single human form. Honestly, it’s hard to know which of these is the scariest.

5. The Dustin/Steve relationship is stronger than ever … for now

But forget all that. Forget the baddies and the sci-fi and the nostalgia. There’s only one reason anyone will watch Stranger Things 3, and that’s to get more of the weirdly endearing friendship that developed between Dustin and Steve at the tail end of the last run. The producers have gone in all guns blazing this time; not only do the pair look like actual soul mates in the trailer, but they’ve dressed Steve up as a funny little sailor with the word ‘ahoy’ written on his hat. It is adorable, and there will be a million GIFs of it by the weekend. If only the trailer didn’t also contain that one shot of Steve screaming in agony as a mysterious substance is injected into his neck. It’d be a shame to tear something this pure apart.

Related: 22 Netflix originals to watch in 2019 [Microsoft GES]

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