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Dad's heartbreaking apology letter to baby daughter explaining why he 'hated' her when she was born

Mirror logo Mirror 20/04/2018 Mark Smith

Ross Hunt's adorable 11-month-old daughter Isabelle (Image: Supply Fee - Media Wales) © Provided by Trinity Mirror Plc Ross Hunt's adorable 11-month-old daughter Isabelle (Image: Supply Fee - Media Wales) A dad has penned a heartbreaking letter to his 11-month-old daughter explaining why he “hated” her for the first three months of her life.

Ross Hunt tells daughter Isabelle that he felt “nothing” when she was born and quickly began to resent her for “ruining” his life.

Despite throwing himself into being a new dad, changing her nappies, dressing her and even doing baby massage, Ross struggled to bond with his little girl due to suffering with postnatal depression.

But now, as Isabelle is about to turn one, Ross, from Abercarn, Wales, has decided to write a moving letter to Isabelle’s “future self” about his experiences with his mental health problems, reports Wales Online.

Ross tells daughter Isabelle that he felt “nothing” when she was born (Image: Western Mail) © Provided by Trinity Mirror Plc Ross tells daughter Isabelle that he felt “nothing” when she was born (Image: Western Mail) Addressing his daughter, Ross’ letter says: “This might not sound very nice, but for the first 12 or so weeks after you was born, I didn’t like you very much.

As Isabelle is about to turn one, Ross, from Abercarn, has decided to write a moving letter to Isabelle’s “future self” (Image: Wales Online) © Provided by Trinity Mirror Plc As Isabelle is about to turn one, Ross, from Abercarn, has decided to write a moving letter to Isabelle’s “future self” (Image: Wales Online) “Some of the following things are going to be hard to read, but it’s very important that I’m honest with you, even if that honesty is difficult to hear.

“But there were times when I hated you. I regretted having you, and thought that my life had been ruined by you being born. I know that’s hard to read, but trust me, it’s incredibly hard to write too.

Ross with partner Rachel and their daughter Isabelle (Image: Health Check Wales) © Provided by Trinity Mirror Plc Ross with partner Rachel and their daughter Isabelle (Image: Health Check Wales) “I’ll be honest and tell you that the baby stage of your life is one that at times I’ve found very hard. I still occasionally struggle these days, and I’m by no means a perfect dad. I wish all of this came easy to me, but for whatever reason, it just doesn’t.”

He said: “But you have to know this: those feelings are never me. You see, there’s something inside daddy called depression. It’s been there a long time, and is probably always going to be there in some form.

a man wearing glasses and smiling at the camera: Credits: Wales Online © Provided by Trinity Mirror Shared Services Limited Credits: Wales Online “But I never thought it would try to tell me that I didn’t like you. You see, depression can cause a person to think horrible things without their control, and make a person feel unhappy, angry, or even worse, make a person feel nothing at all. And that’s what it often did to me.”

Credits: https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/health/father-postnatal-depression-writes-heartbreaking-14545024 © Provided by Trinity Mirror Shared Services Limited Credits: https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/health/father-postnatal-depression-writes-heartbreaking-14545024 Ross, who says he is now in a far better place and is beginning to enjoy being a dad, added that he didn’t want Isabelle to feel any blame for his depression.

He said: “You were an amazing baby, but it didn’t matter. My depression didn’t care how good or bad you were. It was just telling me not to love you and to get away.

“But luckily, I didn’t listen. My life could be very different now if I did. But deep down, underneath all the dislike, fear and depression, lay a love that I knew was there, but one I just struggled to see.

“That love, along with the support from mummy (mam, mum, mammy, there are too many versions) kept me going.”

Related: 20 Questions You're Too Afraid to Ask Your Doctor (But Should) (provided by Mom.me)

Why can't I lose weight?: There are many reasons beyond too many calories and too little exercise that are making it impossible for you to lose weight. Some of those reasons require medical intervention. If you haven't brought it up with your doctor, be sure to do so. A month before your next checkup, record everything you eat and any physical activity and show it to her, when she brings up diet and exercise. 20 Questions You're Too Afraid to Ask Your Doctor (But Should)

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