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9 Myths About The ‘Battle’ Between Working Moms and SAHMs

Working Mother logoWorking Mother 16/6/2017 Laura Lifshitz
Just because we lead different lives doesn't mean we have to be enemies. © istock Just because we lead different lives doesn't mean we have to be enemies.

Neither of us have it easy.

In case you ladies didn't know, there's this big "war" in which working moms and SAHMs are plotting the other's destruction. I mean we're not adults or anything. We're just females hating on each other, right?


Many of these myths below are just some of the falsehoods that hurt us. In truth, most of these myths stem from our fears that perhaps we aren't good enough as moms ourselves, and not really how we feel about other mothers.

Myth No. 1: Working moms think SAHMs have it easy

Working moms actually know being at home is hard work. We don't all sit in a coven and talk about how stay-at-home-moms loaf around all day doing nothing. After all, we’ve got kids, too. We know how much darn work the little boogers entail. And we don't necessarily envy SAHMs either—many working moms think it's harder to be home than it is to work.

Myth No. 2: SAHMs think working moms are bad mothers

Similarly, SAHMs aren't sitting around shaking their fingers at moms who work the 9 to 5. Sure, many of them are completely and utterly glad to not be working and wouldn't have it any other way, but they’re not throwing shade at us working moms for having the “nerve” to work or gasp—even like our jobs and not want to stay home! Sometimes SAHMs even envy our career lives and the world we have outside our homes.

Myth No. 3: Working moms are always 100% satisfied with their decision

Not all working mothers and not every day, but sometimes it stinks when we working mamas miss all the stuff at school that SAHMs get to do, and we want to trade places—for just a minute—but it doesn't mean we resent SAHMs or think less of them. It just means we would like to make a quiet grocery store run in the middle of the day when there's no one there.

Myth No. 4: SAHMs are always 100% satisfied with their decision

Not all the time and not every day, but sometimes it stinks to be surrounded by tiny, screaming humans. In fact, some SAHMs occasionally long for their office days and the chance to trade adult conversation around the proverbial water cooler.

Myth No. 5: We don’t respect the other party

Many SAHMs know how hard it is to juggle work and home life, and they greatly respect what many working mothers do to get through the day. In the same vein, we working ladies know that it can be hard to keep children entertained and cared for. That it can be emotionally draining, honestly. That it can also be hard to rely on someone else financially. The truth is we just respect each other even if we don't long to be in the other's shoes.

Myth No. 6: Working moms have nothing in common with SAHMs

This here is some serious BS. Despite the ways in which our day schedules may be vastly different, we have more commonalities than differences. We all long for a hot meal in which we aren’t rushed. We all long to be noticed for our efforts. We all want our kids to be happy at the end of the day. And yes, we all worry about getting our endless to-do lists checked off and our cleaning and chores completed.

Myth No. 7: Working moms (or SAHMs) think we have all the answers

No mom has all the answers. In fact, we spend a lot of time worrying over whether we just did the right thing—or not. The battle isn’t between two different mom camps, it’s within ourselves.

Myth No. 8: We chose to be a working mom (or SAHM)

Some moms love their career and wouldn’t have it any other way, and some moms adore being at home and suffer zero regrets about it. On the other hand, there are plenty of moms who didn’t choose their path. Some working moms would rather be home but need the paycheck, while some SAHMs would rather be working, but daycare in their area costs nearly as much (or more!) than what they could earn.

Myth No. 9: No one is judging working moms (or SAHMs)

Lies—we are all being judged! Every second of every day. We are judged by other parents and non-parents. By family and co-workers and and strangers on the street. But you know what, who cares what anyone thinks? As long as our kids are happy, that’s all that matters. And truly, the judging isn't happening as often as we think.

Being a mom is hard work—let’s not harbor any of these myths, ladies. Instead, let’s embrace each other and help each other to be the best parents possible in order to raise a generation of happy kids. It takes a village, you know.

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