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The new rules of breaking up

Newshub logoNewshub 12/07/2019 Sarah Templeton
a person on a laptop: WATCH: How to deal with rejection or a break up. © Image - Getty; Video - The AM Show. WATCH: How to deal with rejection or a break up.

It used to be that a break up was just that - a clean break. 

Apart from maybe bumping into them on the street, or having to hear about their promotion at a friend’s barbeque, once the tears had dried and wounds had semi-healed, there wasn’t a whole lot you had to have to do with your ex. 

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That was then. But now, in 2019, moving on in the age of Instagram and Facebook can feel like an impossible task.

We chatted all things breaking up in the latest episode of Newshub podcast The Snack. 

So short of removing yourself from all social media feeds and moving to some South Island valley without reception - what do you do? 

"I definitely recommend performing a thorough online exorcism in the weeks after a breakup," Lisa Steadman, relationship expert and author of It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown (great title) told Redbook

Savage. 

That means unfollowing them on Facebook, muting them on Twitter, and untagging any photos of the two of you together. It even might mean unfriending their parents - a drastic move.

"It's just easier for you to not constantly see what they're up to, who they're with, and what their life is like without you in it," Steadman adds.

Bela Gandhi, founder and CEO of the Smart Dating Academy agrees. 

"It's too hard to get over something if you have access to them," says Gandhi - even her name indicates wisdom. 

“You'll put yourself in a world of misery watching your ex re-emerge on the scene. Your own pain is hard enough to deal with — and to feel that your ex has moved on will only add another layer of devastation." 

If the idea of totally unfriending or blocking someone feels too final, don't freak out: "You can always add them back later," she notes. 

If you’ve agreed to stay friends, but it’s all a bit hard right now, I personally would highly recommend the ‘mute’ function available on instagram and Facebook. It stops their content appearing up your feed, but they don’t know you’ve done it. A real game changer. 

Sarah Templeton and Monika Barton host a magazine-style podcast talking all things love, relationships, dating and of course, sex.

Pictures: Celebrity break-ups of 2019

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