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This Super-Long Checklist For A New London Housemate Is Going Viral

Refinery29 logoRefinery29 26/11/2018 Nick Levine
a large brick building with a window: Refinery29 © produced by Anna Jay; photographed by Matilda Hill-Jenkins. Refinery29

As so many of us have found out, finding a new housemate can be a bit of a nightmare. It's often said that you never really know someone until you've lived with them, so even that super-fun friend you've known for years might turn out to be kind of upright when there's a disagreement about when the heating should come on or whose turn it is to unblock the shower (eww).

But thanks to the housing crisis in London and other big cities, more of us are living in shared houses for longer, and often with people we don't really know. To avoid the sorts of shared house horror stories we hear regularly, it might make sense to employ some tried and tested behavioural techniques  when vetting a potential housemate.

It also makes sense to be as clear as possible about what you're looking for in a new housemate, so that both parties find someone they're totally comfortable with.

But one person's checklist for a new London housemate is racking up thousands of retweets and likes this weekend because, well, it's exceptionally long and very specific. Twitter user @rxdazn posted the checklist on Twitter after a friend was sent it on flatsharing websiteSpareRoom.

Among the main stipulations are a sort of de facto curfew on when any new housemate is actually allowed to be there.

"I need you to be out of the flat on week days during normal working hours (9-5) because I work from home 5 days a week and I need the place to myself," the person writes.

"If you have a proper job, this shouldn't be a problem. Students who go to university on random days for a few hours or stay at home all day long and chill out unfortunately can't live here. I'm not fussy about the weekends, I just want to know you have somewhere to be Mon to Fri from the morning till late afternoon."

Bathroom time is also limited. ‘If you have to run to the toilet 15 times a day or every 15 minutes, don’t move in here," the person advises.

Also not allowed? "Laughing out loud after 11pm" and "cooking in this flat before 8.30am and after 11pm".

"I don't like people spending a lot of time cooking in general," the person adds. "If you ONLY eat cooked/fried meals because you don't know how to make a sandwich, and you hang around the kitchen for hours a day (and I do mean HOURS) or spend every weekend preparing elaborate meals and baking, etc, this isn't a place for you."

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Any new housemate would also have to stick a quota on the number of guests they invite over. "I don't want to constantly see your friends hanging around the flat," the person writes. "If you have guests 3 times a week, it's too much."

Check out the full list of requirements below.

In fairness, the person who does choose to move in will enter the premises knowing exactly how to behave around their new housemates.

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