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Another Week in Donald Trump Poetry (Feb. 13-19)

The Huffington Post logo The Huffington Post 19/02/2016 Hart Seely
POETRY © Beba73 via Getty Images POETRY

From a tortured glimpse of one man's sweat glands to a duel with none other than the Pope, Donald Trump - the billionaire bard - continued this week in his quest to bring big league poetry to American culture.
The following poems come verbatim - not a word changed - from Trump's rallies, interviews and press conferences.
The deluge of verse began Saturday night in a GOP debate/poetry slam, when The Bard painted a bizarre portrait of one of his great muses, a sad but lovable character that he calls "Jeb."
JEB MOONLanguage?
Two days ago,
He said he would
Take his pants off
And moon everybody.
And that's fine.
Nobody reports that.
He gets up and says that
And then tells me,
"Oh, my language
Is a little bit rough."
My language.
Gimme a break.

Sunday morning, The Bard appeared on CBS "Face the Nation" to explain his poetic use of a certain barnyard term.
I get standing ovations.
The other night,
I got standing ovations
for minor stuff.
And a lot of times,
I don't use the word.

Monday, in a news conference, Trump composed a terse verse about time travel.

If you look at the book,
"The America We Deserve,"
Written in the year 2000,
I mentioned in that book,
Me... I wrote it...
I mentioned in that book
"Osama bin Laden,"
Because I saw him
A couple of times
And I read about him,
And I said, "You know,
"He's a bad dude."

He also added a brief autobiographical sketch.
I think I deal
with pressure well.
I've won many
club championships.

Tuesday, The Bard went on "Savage Nation," a national radio show dedicated to beat poetry, to compose two ditties on the mysterious death of a Supreme Court justice.
They found a pillow
on his face,
Which is a pretty
unusual place.
I literally just heard it
a little while ago.
It's just starting to come out
now... as you know.

That night, in a rally, he rendered this incredible portrait of one man's soggy, sweat-filled existence.
He was with me when
he had the meltdown,
and I'm telling you,
it wasn't a pretty sight.
No, he was standing right there,
No, he was soaking wet,
I'm telling you, he was wet.
I say, 'What the hell's going on over here?
I thought he just came
out of a swimming pool.
He was soaking.
I said, "Look! Wow. Are you OK?'"
Can you imagine
Putin sitting there,
waiting for the meeting,
and this guy walks in?

Wednesday, at an MSNBC Town Hall, he raised a poetic issue the media refuses to cover.

We have had an
African-American president
now for seven years,
going on eight years.
He has done so little
in terms of economics,
and in terms of really
getting youth thinking,
there, because...
I see all the riots.

Thursday brought a new, powerful metaphorical adversary, the Pope, who had been put up to mischief by the Mexican government. That night, on CNN, The Bard offered forgiveness.
The government of Mexico spoke with the Pope.
I mean, they spent a lot of time with the Pope.
I think they probably talked about,
"Isn't it terrible that Mr. Trump wants to have
border security?" Et cetera, et cetera...
And the Pope made the statement.
He also talked about having a wall is not Christian.
And he's got an awfully big wall at the Vatican,
I will tell you...
I don't like fighting with the Pope, actually.
I don't think this is a fight.
I have a lot of respect for the Pope.
I think he's got a lot of personality.
He's very different.
He's a very different kind of a guy.
And I think he's doing a very good job.
He's a lot of energy.

The campaign continues. American verse may never be the same.
For daily Trump poetry, follow me on Twitter at @SeelySays

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