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Eminem vs The National Party Day 2: Mum’s Spaghetti

The Wireless logo The Wireless 2/05/2017

Pure Eminem or just Eminem-Esque?

  © Provided by Radio New Zealand Limited

It has widely been agreed that the innocently titled track ‘Eminem-Esque’, used in the National Party’s 2014 campaign video sounds rather like Eminem’s extremely valuable Lose Yourself - so much so that it has formed the grounds for a copyright battle like no other taking place in Wellington's High Court right now.

But how sure are we? As we know, hearing is subjective, and the miserably uneducated proletariat can barely differentiate between the dulcet tones of a nightingale and the high pitched squeal of a stone trapped in the tyre of a car travelling merrily down an unsealed road.

For this reason music expert Dr Andrew Ford was beamed into court today to give evidence via video link from Sydney.

Using exclusive technical music know-how, Dr Ford decreed that the songs are indeed very, very similar.

"They have the same staccato use of guitar, identical timbre, and identical chords of D minor and G minor,” he rather damningly told the court. "Together they create a sonic bed in Eminem-Esque that is practically identical to Lose Yourself."

*Gulp*

And that’s not all. Dr Ford said that even the voice over employed by National - delivering a gripping monologue about economic prosperity - is veering into Eminem territory: “the sound and tone of delivery, the reasonable voice, the rhetorical question”.  

Floundering under the irrefutable evidence that Eminem invented the rhetorical question, Greg Arthur, Lawyer for the National Party, then played the court a bunch of other songs including The Beatles Twist and Shout, something called La Bamba and Kashmir by Led Zeppelin apparently in the hopes that Dr Ford would find them similar too.

After literally laughing out loud for some reason, Ford told the court that the chances of Eminem-Esque being accidentally and coincidentally as similar to Lose Yourself as it is would be “possible in a way that a lot of monkeys could eventually type Hamlet.”

With the National Party no doubt buoyed by this assessment, the copyright crystal ball still remains murky. Will day three clear away the fog to expose the truth in this gripping saga? We can but wait and see.

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