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HUFFPOST HILL - Dick Cheney's Disembodied Head To Live In Washington Forever

The Huffington Post The Huffington Post 4/11/2015 Eliot Nelson

John Boehner retained the services of Bob Barnett, presumably to help secure a favorable advance for his upcoming memoir, “Will You Goddamn Chuckleheads Please Leave Me And My Glass Of Malbec Alone.” Brad Sherman gave the invisible hand of the market a whole new meaning when he urged Janet Yellen to hold off raising interest rates because that’s what God would want. And Jeb Bush told a rally that "pain is part of life" -- he then locked eyes with a nearby supporter, lit a cigarette, and then snuffed it out on his palm, his face never once breaking into a grimace. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Wednesday, November 4th, 2015:
This just went through the Senate hotline. 13:1 says Bernie Sanders puts a hold on it: "S. Con. Res.___ - Authorizing the use of Emancipation Hall in the Capitol Visitor Center for the unveiling of the marble bust of Vice President Richard Cheney on December 3, 2015."
KEVIN BRADY PICKED FOR WAYS AND MEANS - The hooded members of the Steering Committee proceeded to slowly surrounded the Texas lawmaker as he was placed atop the altar and ceremoniously smeared with goat blood. Elaina Plott: "Wednesday afternoon, in the same conference room where Ryan announced his conditional bid for speaker of the House last month, members of the Steering Committee -- which includes Ryan, the rest of the GOP leadership team, each sitting committee chair, and a number of rank-and-file lawmakers -- convened to debate the two-person contest between Brady and Ohio representative Pat Tiberi. After over an hour of deliberation, preceded by ten-minute speeches and question-and-answer sessions with both candidates, members declared Brady, previously ranked number two on the panel, the victor." [National Review]
Dems having fun with Planned Parenthood committee messaging, per our inbox: "Today, Representative Jan Schakowsky (IL-09) released the following statement after Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi announced the Democratic Members who will serve on the partisan Committee to Attack Women’s Health, including that Representative Schakowsky will serve as Ranking Member on the Committee..."
Martin O'Malley would like to remind you that in addition to playing guitar, he is much better at Social Security than Hillary Clinton is.DELANEY DOWNER - The state of Ohio has asked the Obama administration for leeway from certain welfare rules that dictate what kinds of "work activities" a poor person can participate in while receiving benefits. The request makes Ohio the first state to seek a "welfare waiver" under an initiative the Obama administration announced in 2012 -- one that Mitt Romney's presidential campaign and every Republican in Congress dubiously claimed "gutted" the landmark welfare reform law of 1996. One of the several problems with this claim was that no states had even applied for a waiver after the administration invited states to do so. Ohio Gov. John Kasich (R) has changed that. Kasich just so happens to be running for president, and has sought to assert himself as more moderate than other candidates in the Republican primary. Most notably, he expanded Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare. Supporting the welfare waiver sets up a stark contrast with his party's 2012 standard bearer and Republicans in Congress, who have twice voted to prohibit the Obama administration from considering the waivers. [HuffPost]
Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It's free! Sign up here. Send tips/stories/photos/events/fundraisers/job movement/juicy miscellanea to Follow us on Twitter - @HuffPostHillFREEDOM CAUCUS TRYING TO OVERHAUL STEERING COMMITTEE - In short, they don't want anyone who ever so much as smiled at John Boehner to have sway over committee assignments. Scott Wong: "House Republicans will hold a special meeting Thursday to discuss possible changes to the Steering Committee, as well as other rules and policy matters. [Speaker Paul] Ryan has said he is open to revamping the Steering Committee as part of broader changes to internal GOP rules and procedures. The proposal obtained by The Hill is being floated by members of the conservative House Freedom Caucus. Among the highlights: The Speaker currently gets five votes on the Steering panel, and Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) gets two. Under the proposal, all GOP leaders would receive just one vote. The proposal would kick 'A' committee chairmen off of Steering... The conservatives’ plan would expand to 20 the number of Steering members representing 20 geographic regions in the country. Currently, there are just 13 regional representatives." [The Hill]
Donald Trump is not helping the Republican establishment's quest to dismantle entitlements, Robert Costa and Ed O'Keefe report.TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT, WE WON'T STAND FO--- *IS DEPORTED* - Elise Foley: "Protesting could be a deportable offense for undocumented immigrants if Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) gets his way. The immigration hawk's office circulated a bill on Monday that would authorize U.S. Capitol Police to help enforce immigration laws. The 'Ending the Sanctuary Capitol Policy' has the specific aim of targeting protesters, according to an email sent to House offices by King legislative director Jared Culver. 'Any office that has been flooded with protesters calling for amnesty realize how the current environment encourages fearless protest no matter the legal status of the protester,' he wrote. The email was shared with The Huffington Post by a recipient and confirmed by another recipient. Neither Culver nor a spokeswoman for King responded to a request for comment." [HuffPost]
Speaking of things that won't happen: "Two Senators are floating ambitious legislation to stop the government from issuing new leases on public land for fossil fuel extraction. The venture, pushed by Sens. Jeff Merkley (D-Ore.) and Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), is a gamble that would be met with fierce opposition from Republicans. Merkley said the goal of the bill is to combat climate change and help prevent an increase in the global temperature, which could lead to catastrophic damage." [HuffPost's Laura Barron-Lopez]
OVERSIGHT LEADERS SQUABBLING, PT. 514,223,991 - Does Elijah Cummings ever feel a pang of nostalgia for Darrell Issa when he's dressing down Jason Chaffetz? ("Now there was an asshole I could accuse of obstructing due process")? Rachel Weiner: "Democrats on the House Oversight Committee are chastising Chairman Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) for rebuffing their efforts to investigate price hikes by two pharmaceutical companies. 'My constituents are dying,' Ranking Member Elijah E. Cummings (D-Md.) said at a news conference Wednesday morning. 'They are dying because they cannot get a cure.' In a letter to Chaffetz, he and other members said Republicans have 'refused every request' to hold hearings or issue subpoenas to drug companies. They ask Republicans to allow them to move forward next month: 'Even if you have no interest in investigating these abuses on behalf of your own constituents, we ask that you not block us from investigating them on behalf of ours.'" [WaPo]
RUBIO PULLS 180 ON IMMIGRATION REFORM - Screeeeeeeeeeeeech. Seriously, Steve McQueen would be impressed by this move. Elise Foley: "Republican presidential candidate and Sen. Marco Rubio said Wednesday that he'd eventually end protections for young undocumented immigrants who came to the U.S. as children -- a move that would take away the ability to work legally from tens of thousands of so-called Dreamers. Rubio, the Florida senator who helped draft a comprehensive immigration reform bill in 2013, has said previously that he would continue the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program until it can be replaced with immigration reform passed through Congress. That stance has come under fire from conservatives, however, who have accused him of continuing President Barack Obama's amnesty programs. He backed away from that position Wednesday. 'It will have to end at some point,' he said at an event in New Hampshire, according to Bloomberg Politics, adding that it would be 'ideal' if it ended because Congress enacted reform." [HuffPost]
@BenjySarlin: Rubio asked who he'd want to have a beer with who's not a politician. He says Malala. Is that legal yet?
Can't believe Ben Carson forgot that aliens built the pyramids: "Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson told graduates during a commencement address in the late nineties that he believed the pyramids in Egypt were built by the biblical figure Joseph to store grain, and not, as most archaeologists contend, as tombs for pharaohs." [BuzzFeed's Nate McDermott Andrew Kaczynski]
PALEO-O-O DIEEEETTTTT!!!! *punches self in face* "Jeb Bush said Tuesday that the government’s decision to endorse powerful prescription painkillers for children was inappropriate in part because 'pain is part of life.'" [Politico's Kyle Cheney]
TOTAL SHOCKER: BOEHNER CASHING OUT - But who will refurbish his Capitol Hill basement apartment? Kate Ackley: "The Ohio Republican has hired Robert Barnett... former Boehner aide John Criscuolo will head up the ex-speaker’s political affairs. Boehner, a prolific fundraiser while in office, may donate money from his joint leadership committee and his campaign committee to other political committees, candidates for office and charity. Boehner, who has long been cozy with K Street, collected more than $53 million for his leadership PAC and his campaign committee during his tenure as speaker. He may also donate funds from his leadership PAC, the Freedom Project PAC, which raised $1.3 million this year, or he could transfer that money for his personal use. Schnittger, who serves as Boehner’s post-congressional spokesman, did not respond to questions about Boehner’s decisions regarding his existing political money." [Roll Call]
BECAUSE YOU'VE READ THIS FAR - Here's a dog showering itself.
TREMBLE BEFORE YOUR LORD, JANET YELLEN - In fairness, the Fed chair is probably the closest thing a free-market atheist has to a deity. Jen Bendery: "Rep. Brad Sherman (D-Calif.) thinks it would be a really bad idea for the Federal Reserve to raise interest rates this fall. On Wednesday, he told Chair Janet Yellen that he has a pretty strong voice in his camp: God. 'God's plan is not for things to rise in the autumn. As a matter of fact, that's why we call it 'fall,'' Sherman said during a House Financial Services Committee hearing. 'Nor is it God's plan for things to rise in the winter through the snow,' he continued. 'God's plan is that things rise in the spring, and so if you want to be good with the almighty, you might want to delay until May.' Yellen didn't have much reaction to Sherman's comments." [HuffPost]
- A computer made of cardboard.
- In the year 2000, everyone was a terrorist.
- Super close-up view of soap bubbles.
TWITTERAMA@SimonMaloy: "I love my dad"
"aw, that's nice"
"I'd kill for him"
"oh, okay"
"his disapproval would totally wreck me emotionally"
"so hey... I gotta run"
@igorbobic: Someone should hand out post-election spin awards. The award itself should be a coupon for 20% off your purchase at Ross.
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