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Politicians' cracker quotes and other quips

NZ NewswireNZ Newswire 23/12/2014
Labour leader David Cunliffe apologised for being a man. © Getty Images Labour leader David Cunliffe apologised for being a man.

Politicians' witty and well-chosen words can push them up the polls, even sometimes help shape a nation, while slips of the tongue may be their undoing.

Whatever they say within range of media microphones will be recorded for everyone to make a judgment, so unsurprisingly quotes from politicians feature prominently in annual reviews of the year's most quotable quotes.


"I'm sorry for being a man right now, because family and sexual violence is perpetrated overwhelmingly by men against women and children." - Then-Labour leader David Cunliffe tells a Women's Refuge symposium.

"The government is betting the farm on the farm." - Greens co-leader Russel Norman summarises economic reliance on dairy exports to China.

"I'm certainly not a reptile, I've never been in a spaceship, never been in outer space, and my tongue's not overly long either." - John Key jokes that he's consulted a doctor and a vet following a cheeky OIA request for proof that he's not a "David Icke-style shapeshifting reptilian alien".

"This stupid allegation comes from a thoroughly discredited nag that crashed into the first hurdle." - Winston Peters on former NZ First colleague Brendan Horan's claim that he should have declared his part-ownership of a racehorse.

"Kelvin, cash is king brother, cash is king." - Shane Jones gives advice to his Labour successor Kelvin Davis, when relating to MPs about being caught using his ministerial credit card to pay for adult movies in hotels.

"Sucking up to German millionaires is not my vision of the future." - Sue Bradford resigning from the Mana Party after its alliance with Kim Dotcom's Internet Party.

"If he survived that, he could probably survive shooting little kittens in his garden with a shotgun." - Kim Dotcom ponders the lack of impact Nicky Hager's Dirty Politics book has on Key's popularity.

"Dotcom is trying to save Dotcom's butt - and it's a reasonably large one ... so he's brought in three little butts to save his butt." - Key about Kim Dotcom, journalist Glenn Greenwald, lawyer Robert Amsterdam and Wikileaks founder Julian Assange appearing at a pre-election extravaganza in Auckland Town Hall.

"Why doesn't he just cut the crap and apologise?" - Andrew Little, newly installed as Labour leader, has Key on the back foot in parliament over his contact with blogger Cameron Slater.

"The prime minister is full of bovine scatology, he behaves like a mendacious sybarite." - Peters adds his verbal venom in the same debate.


"I have called women honey and sweetie, and that is wrong. That's a sexist thing to do ... and I and will stop doing that." - Roger Sutton resigns as Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Authority boss over a sexual harassment complaint and sparks a greater furore.

"Yeah, this time the weirdo won out." - Lorde, when asked backstage after winning two Grammys about her unconventional music and style.

"What those idiots don't understand is that my biggest asset is inside my skull and they can't seize that :-)". - Dotcom tweets about Hollywood studios'

and prosecutors' court actions to freeze then seize his assets.

"I have no doubt that Alicia McCallion was the best thing that happened to you. You, however, were the worst thing that happened to her." - Justice Rebecca Ellis, sentencing Karl Eddy to at least 17 years' jail for murdering his ex-girlfriend.

"Selfless husband. I wanted a quiet night." - Prince William after Kate ruled the waves during their races in America's Cup yachts on Waitemata Harbour.

"He took control and went into the middle of the circle of toys. He hunted out the biggest toy, propped himself up and owned the place, basically." - Young Prince George showing he's born-to-rule, according to Grant Collinge whose son Lukas was one of the prince's playmates at Government House in Wellington.

"He always called them cheap-arse farmers." - Dotcom's (denied) description of New Zealanders, according to former employee John Tactquin.

"I'm going to prepare for it like a competition, but I'm not going to rip my undies up to throw some massive throw." - Double Olympic gold medallist Valerie Adams, seeking her 13th consecutive NZ shot put title.

"He would roll over and shoot me if I didn't." - Steve Hansen on what his rugby-loving dad Des would do from the grave, had he not flown to Brisbane with the All Blacks for a dead-rubber Test five days after his bereavement.

"I believe there are dark forces at play. These forces have long arms, deep pockets and great influence." - Chris Cairns in one of his repeated denials of being involved in cricket match-fixing.

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