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Tesla Hasn't Started Developing a Time Machine 'YET': Court Filing

Jalopnik logo Jalopnik 9/21/2018 Ryan Felton
a car parked on the side of a road: Hm© Illustration:Jason Torchinsky (Jalopnik) Hm

Tesla has been fairly busy as of late trying to ramp up production of the Model 3 sedan while having to address the innumerable controversies CEO Elon Musk has drummed up on Twitter. It also has a number of products in the works—a semi, a new Roadster, an all-electric crossover, a pickup truck (maybe). One thing it’s not working on? A time machine. Not yet, that is.

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Amid a criminal investigation, a securities fraud investigation, numerous investor lawsuits, a defamation suit brought against Musk for baselessly calling someone a pedophile, widespread problems with delivering the Model 3 to consumers, and more (I’m sure), Tesla is also handling a legal squabble with the National Labor Relations Board, which alleges that Tesla management violated federal labor laws.

Part of those allegations from the NLRB includes a claim that Musk violated the that protect a worker’s right to unionize, when he tweeted in May that his employees would lose their stock options if they organized a union. A judge last week allowed the NLRB’s stock-option tweet allegation to be included in its ongoing case against Tesla, which resumes on Monday with a hearing in San Francisco.

Tesla wants the tweet claim to be resolved separately from the ongoing trial, and in a court filing on Thursday argued there’s no reason for it to be coupled with the current case. But in doing so, it disclosed a very curious item about its product plans going forward.

Amid some banter about the timing of when court documents were filed with the court (BORING), the automaker said (emphasis mine):

Tesla is one of the world’s most innovative companies, but has not yet developed a time machine that the General Counsel demands.

If you think I’m joking, it’s in writing, folks:

a screenshot of a cell phone: NLRB filing© Screenshot:NLRB NLRB filing

Interesting. So does that mean a time machine is being developed? Is that why Tesla’s workforce has ballooned to 40,000 employees in total over time? A small army of engineers working hard on a time machine all along? It has not yet been developed, Tesla says, but is one in the works? Is it so hard to make Model 3s with all those employees when really they’re all working on a time machine instead?

I asked a spokesperson for the automaker what the hell is going on here, but haven’t heard back just yet. The post will be updated if a response is received.

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