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9 Vintage Thanksgiving Side Dishes We Shouldn’t Bring Back

Mental Floss logo Mental Floss 11/11/2017 Meg Van Huygen
food on a plate: 9 Vintage Thanksgiving Side Dishes We Shouldn’t Bring Back © Dwight Sipler via Flickr // CC BY 2.0 9 Vintage Thanksgiving Side Dishes We Shouldn’t Bring Back

We all have that aunt—the one who’s been bringing her Miracle-Whip-bound pimiento-pea salad to Thanksgiving dinner since time immemorial. But although you may swear she got her recipe straight from the devil, it turns out that cheese-and-lime-Jell-O salads and their ilk were all the rage in her day—it’s not (totally) her fault! To cut her a little slack, here are some examples of vintage Thanksgiving-themed recipes that will make her salad look like filet mignon.

1. CRANBERRY CANDLE SALAD

a birthday cake with lit candles: Best Foods Mayonnaise Ad 1960s with Jello Molds © Provided by The Week Publications Best Foods Mayonnaise Ad 1960s with Jello Molds

Nothing complements the tart, refreshing flavor of cranberry sauce like some gelatin and salty, eggy mayonnaise. If that weren’t weird enough, this recipe also tells you to shove a real candle in there and then light it. Ostensibly, you’re supposed to eat around the melted wax, but we can’t be sure—maybe it’s considered a condiment.

2. CANDIED SWEET POTATOES WITH ANGOSTURA BITTERS

This recipe for candied sweet potatoes, which involves baking them in a mixture of butter, sugar, and angostura bitters, is probably either really good or really bad. It sort of makes sense, adding bitters to cut down on the sugar factor. Alternatively, you could just not make a candied version of something that already has the word sweet in its name.

3. TURKEY AND STUFFING ON JELL-O

a bunch of different types of food: Thanksgiving Jello Ad © Provided by The Week Publications Thanksgiving Jello Ad

There’s not much to this one, is there? It’s a pile of turkey and stuffing dumped on top of a cranberry orange Jell-O ring—sounds delicious!

4. CREAMED ONIONS

This once-popular Thanksgiving mainstay has been neglected over the last century, for perhaps obvious reasons. In some households, the idea was to pour creamed onions over the turkey, like gravy, to add a little moisture. Or possibly because eating a chunky mouthful of pearl onions and cream sauce by itself is gross.

5. WINTER CORN

a group of corn © Provided by The Week Publications

This mixture of corn, sour cream, and bacon is sometimes found on Midwestern Thanksgiving tables. It’s mostly off-putting because its main ingredient is creamed corn. That said, creamed corn really needs all the help it can get, so adding bacon can only improve it.

6. FROZEN JELLIED TURKEY-VEGETABLE SALAD

a plate of food with a slice of cake on a table: frozen jellied turkey-vegetable salad © Provided by The Week Publications frozen jellied turkey-vegetable salad

There’s only one way to improve a dish as alluring as Jellied Turkey-Vegetable Salad, and that’s to stick it in the freezer. From the sound of the recipe—which combines cream of celery soup, salad dressing, diced turkey, vegetables, and gelatin—this is basically the inside of a turkey pot pie if it was served frozen. And also if it was square.

7. JELL-O FRUIT CORNUCOPIA

Sure, cornucopias were for holding food in olden times, but don’t you wish you could eat one? Well, guess what—your years of longing are finally over, because someone has made a Jell-O version of one with fruit trapped in it. You don’t even have to take the fruit out of the cornucopia this time—you can just pop the whole thing in your mouth. Dreams do come true.

8. SWEET AND SOUR TANG POPCORN (A.K.A. ASTRONAUT POPCORN)

Reportedly, this was a popular Thanksgiving dessert in the ’70s. The idea seems to be an offshoot of caramel corn, but … with Tang powder.

9. HOT DR. PEPPER

a bowl of soup sitting next to a cup of coffee © Provided by The Week Publications

You gotta give the good folks at Dr. Pepper a few points for at least trying here. They noticed that soda was not often considered a cozy, comforting holiday drink, and they stepped up to the bat undaunted. Bold move.

Related gallery: 15 Vintage Thanksgiving Dishes You Should Cook This Year (provided by The Daily Meal)

15 Vintage Thanksgiving Dishes You Should Cook This Year: <p>Our society loves vintage things - clothes, music, sports cars, wine - but what about <a href="https://www.thedailymeal.com/holiday/thanksgiving"><b>Thanksgiving dinner</b></a>? It may seem like Thanksgiving is one of those classic, never-changing meals, but over the years, some dishes that were once standard on the Thanksgiving table have fallen out of favor. Since Thanksgiving is the American holiday <a href="https://www.thedailymeal.com/eat/these-thanksgiving-traditions-are-actually-pretty-weird-when-you-think-about-it"><b>most built around tradition</b></a>, we've dug out recipes for some good, old-fashioned holiday fare to give your Thanksgiving dinner flavors from the past.</p> 15 Vintage Thanksgiving Dishes You Should Cook This Year
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