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Here’s Another Reminder You Shouldn’t Chug Alcohol You Can’t Get Past Airport Security

Extra Crispy 3/13/2018 ExtraCrispy Staff
a close up of a bottle of wine © Provided by TIME Inc.

One of the traits that supposedly sets humans apart from less intelligent animals is our ability to pass down knowledge across generations. For instance, the SpaceX Falcon Heavy launch isn’t the work of one man—despite how much Elon Musk seems to take credit for it: Instead, these feats are accomplished from the collective knowledge passed down from all of human history dating back to the Apollo Program, the Wright brothers, and even the caveman who invented the wheel (probably one of Elon Musk’s early relatives). And yet, equally as impressive as our capacity for learning is unwavering inclination towards stupidity. No matter how many times others make a mistake, a new generation will inevitably line up to make the same blunder. Sometimes, that line is the airport security line… and all too often, that mistake is chugging down bottles of booze you can’t get through a checkpoint.

Last Thursday, a 67-year-old German man attempting to fly to Bangkok was stopped by security at Frankfurt Airport when officials found two bottles of wine in his carryon luggage. According to Germany’s The Local, the pricey wines were intended as a gift for his hosts in Thailand. Apparently not content with the mistake of forgetting the 100-milliliter limit on liquids rule we’ve all come to know, the man decided to fall into another common trap: Purporting that these wines were too precious to go to waste, he chugged them both down instead of throwing them away. (How chugging fine wine is somehow not letting it go to waste is a philosophical question left for a non-travel day.)

As anyone who’s ever shotgunned two bottles of wine can attest to, the man quickly became inebriated—and problematically so: He was so drunk, the airline wouldn’t let him board the plane, at which point the intoxicated traveler opened a locked door via an emergency button and nearly stumbled onto the runway. Sadly, this decision caused his expensive wine to potentially become that much more costly: His unauthorized entry is an offense that can come with a fine of up to €10,000.

When the police arrived, as might be expected, the man was reportedly uncooperative, but three hours later, officials were still a bit sympathetic to the now-more-sober senior, suggesting he try to save some money by taking public transit home instead of paying for a €150 cab ride. Loosely translated from the German, he replied, “I’ve blown so much money today, the cost of the taxi doesn’t even matter.” And thus, we have the moral we should all remember: Don’t let a bad day ruin your sense of humor. Also, yeah, don’t chug your airport line booze either.

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