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10 Marriage Rules that No Longer Apply

Redbook Logo By Jane Bianchi of Redbook | Slide 1 of 10: "A wife used to be encouraged to tend to her husband's and children's needs first. But if you do that, you'll become resentful," says Dan Beaver, a marriage and family therapist in Walnut Creek, CA. Then your frustration may manifest itself in different w

Once you're married, you can't have a life of your own

Although rigid roles can make things more streamlined, they can also be limiting. "A wife used to be encouraged to tend to her husband's and children's needs first. But if you do that, you'll become resentful," says Dan Beaver, a marriage and family therapist in Walnut Creek, CA. Then your frustration may manifest itself in different ways, like getting depressed, snapping at people, or smoking or drinking too much. So forget about that old-school rule, and do something every day that makes you feel happy, relaxed and/or fulfilled, whether that's seeing an author speak at your local bookstore, taking a few minutes to practice a morning meditation, or going on a green juice run sans kids. "You have to care for yourself before you can care for others," says Beaver.

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