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15 Types of Arguments That May Mean the End of Your Relationship

Reader's Digest Logo By Stacey Feintuch of Reader's Digest | Slide 1 of 15: It starts with a mild complaint like 'You didn't do the dishes.' But it escalates into a general criticism such as 'You don't help around the house.' That evolves into passing judgment on personality: 'You're a selfish, lazy slob.''This doesn't happen overnight, but it gradually chips away at the foundation of your marriage,' says Lesli M. W. Doares, a marriage consultant and coach with a private practice in Cary, North Carolina, and author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage: How to Create Your Happily Ever After With More Intention, Less Work. Gilda Carle, PhD, relationship expert and author of Don't Lie on Your Back for a Guy Who Doesn't Have Yours, says arguments should never start with 'you': ''You' language is synonymous with finger pointing like 'You did this, you did that,'' says Dr. Carle. 'Where can a partner go from there? He can only come back with attacks on you. Before you know it, disrespect is rampant, nobody hears the other, and the true grievances you have go unheard and unresolved.' You'll be surprised by these other secrets of happily married couples.

You show a fundamental disrespect for your partner

It starts with a mild complaint like 'You didn't do the dishes.' But it escalates into a general criticism such as 'You don't help around the house.' That evolves into passing judgment on personality: 'You're a selfish, lazy slob.''This doesn't happen overnight, but it gradually chips away at the foundation of your marriage,' says Lesli M. W. Doares, a marriage consultant and coach with a private practice in Cary, North Carolina, and author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage: How to Create Your Happily Ever After With More Intention, Less Work. Gilda Carle, PhD, relationship expert and author of Don't Lie on Your Back for a Guy Who Doesn't Have Yours, says arguments should never start with 'you': ''You' language is synonymous with finger pointing like 'You did this, you did that,'' says Dr. Carle. 'Where can a partner go from there? He can only come back with attacks on you. Before you know it, disrespect is rampant, nobody hears the other, and the true grievances you have go unheard and unresolved.' You'll be surprised by these other secrets of happily married couples.
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