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Woman Applauded for Blanking Heartbroken Sister: 'Not My Problem'

Newsweek 12/6/2022 Alice Gibbs
A file photo of a woman upset with head in hands, left, and another woman rejects a phone call, right. A woman has been backed for refusing to forgive her sister. © fizkes/nicoletaionescu/Getty Images A file photo of a woman upset with head in hands, left, and another woman rejects a phone call, right. A woman has been backed for refusing to forgive her sister.

The internet has sided with a woman who rejected contact with her estranged sister after she was responsible for breaking up her marriage seven years ago.

In a post on Reddit's popular r/AmITheA****** forum with over 20,000 upvotes, user u/CraftingSunLove explained: "I was married and expecting a baby when things went horribly wrong. Around 10 weeks into my pregnancy I suffered a miscarriage and then I returned home to find my husband in bed with my sister."

While her sister and husband attempted to apologize, the poster wanted nothing to do with either of them and quickly filed for divorce. It was then that she discovered her sister had also fallen pregnant.

"Pretty early I realized my parents were hoping I would still want to be part of the baby's life, but I wanted nothing to do with the baby my sister conceived while sleeping with my husband," she wrote.

Her sister and ex-husband were married and had two more children, and she married again and distanced herself from her whole family.

But around three months ago, her sister had called her unexpectedly. "[She] told me she needed me, and could I please come to her," she explained. "I hung up the phone and continued about my day. It was several hours later that I got a message from my parents saying I needed to be with my sister. A few days later I got another call and was told my sister had been pregnant, the baby passed away inside of her, and she delivered a stillborn all while he was out sleeping with someone else. My parents and sister expected me to rally around her and I didn't."

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With her sister and kids now living with their parents, the poster explained she had been inundated with messages asking her to meet the children and reconcile with the family.

"My sister told me how sorry she was again and that she wanted us to make up. I told the three of them that she and her kids are not my problem and I still want nothing to do with them," she said.

Carole Lieberman, a board-certified Beverly Hills psychiatrist, told Newsweek: "The poster did the right thing by blocking her sister and ex-husband out of her life. Getting rid of this negativity allowed her to then meet the man of her dreams.

"It is surprising, and disappointing that her parents expected her to open her arms to her sister and the children who came from the union of her ex and sister. How could she look at their children, no less hug them and give them gifts and so on? Each child is a painful reminder of the betrayal of her ex and sister."

With her parents now asking her to forgive her sister, the poster turned to the internet to ask if she was wrong to continue to have no contact with her sister.

In over 3,200 comments, Redditors overwhelmingly backed the woman.

One comment with over 33,000 upvotes alone said: "Your sister f***** around, and now she's finding out. I'm incredibly sorry that either of you had to go through any of that, both the miscarriage, stillbirth and the cheating—but this is karma wrapped in a big bow."

"For the sake of your mental health, please cut these toxic people off...I suspect their motives are not pure in nature and likely want to use you," said another Redditor.

Lieberman did point out that the similarity in experiences may give the sisters a common bond: "Now that time has passed, and Sister B has suffered the same betrayal by the same cad of a husband, it does give them a common bond. The poster could consider trying to forgive her sister and her parents, getting together with each member of the family individually at first and seeing just how sincerely apologetic they are."

Despite this, she urged caution for any reconciliation. "The poster should be wary," she explained. "If reconnecting with her sister and her parents makes her too depressed or angry, such that this interferes with her own marriage, she should slow down—if not stop—the reunion."

Newsweek reached out to u/CraftingSunLove for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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