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These Common Sex Problems Might Be Killing Your Relationship

Men's Health logo Men's Health 2/8/2018 Stacey Leasca

a person lying on a bed: These Common Sex Problems Might Be Killing Your Relationship © Image by Getty These Common Sex Problems Might Be Killing Your Relationship With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, you may be evaluating the state of your relationship. If you’re looking for something to measure it against, look no further than the latest survey by eHarmony.

The dating site released a report on Thursday called Happiness Index: The State of Relationships in America. In it, the company asked more than 2,300 people ages 18 and up who were either married or in long-term relationships about their happiness levels with their partner.

According to the survey, a whopping 64 percent of people said they are at least “very happy” with their relationships. Nevertheless, there's still plenty that bugs people about their romantic situations — and just 50 percent of people said they were happy with their sex lives.

So what's bugging people the most when it comes to romance? Stress from work is at the top of the list, with 34 percent of guys and 36 percent of women saying it has a negative impact on their relationship. Twenty-five percent of men and 29 percent of women said that arguments about money added to their relationship unhappiness.

Related gallery: 12 Things Sex Therapists Wish You Knew. Provided by Reader's Digest You won't need to do the deed in front of your therapist—or with your therapist: You may have heard rumors that you'll have to show, rather than tell, your problem in sex therapy. And if you've watched the series Masters of Sex, that's definitely what happened there—along with sex surrogate therapy, in which the researchers or their staff engaged in sexual contact to help patients.But sex therapists say that they won't be watching—or participating—in your sexual activities: They'll just be helping you recover that loving feeling. (Good thing: There are <a href='http://www.rd.com/health/wellness/not-having-sex/1'>real health benefits to an active sex life</a>.) 'Professional therapy never includes sex, touching, or removal of clothing,' says Shannon Chavez, PsyD, CST, a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist in Beverly Hills, California. 'It is similar to traditional therapy, other than dealing primarily with sexual health, solution-focused and short-term. I describe my therapy approach as talk therapy with an eclectic use of coaching, adult sex education, and behavioral approaches and exercises. We are learning tools for mindfulness, stress management, and self-care.' 12 Things Sex Therapists Wish You Knew

As you might have guessed, much of people's relationship problems come come from their sex lives. Twenty-eight percent of guys and 38 percent of women complained about someone being "too tired for sex"; 21 percent of men and 35 percent of women about low sex drive; and 13 percent of men and 16 percent of women about boring sex.

If negative factors are putting a strain on your relationship, there are ways you can fix things. According to eHarmony, the couples who reported being happiest in their relationships are the ones who have "open communication with their partner." This can mean talking to each other, to a therapist, or to friends.

Believe it or not, Millennials are the most effective communicators of all.

"There’s this narrative about millennials being entitled," eHarmony CEO Grant Langston told Men's Health. “We see them as most interested in communication of any of the age groups, and male Millennials are driving the difference.” Langston added that Millennial guys are more willing to talk to friends, family, and therapists about their relationships than any other age demographic.

Another key to happiness? Don’t rush into getting married. As the survey showed, couples who were over the age of 30 and dated for five years before taking the plunge reported being far happier than those who didn’t wait.

If you're looking to spice up your relationship, it could be as easy as making new couple friends and enjoying date nights out together more often. If the problems in your romance lie in the bedroom, there are plenty of things you can do about that, too. Here are three super easy steps to take to spice up your relationship and your current bedroom routine. You can thank us for your epic Valentine’s Day night later.

Related video: How to Bring the Passion Back Into Your Sex Life. Provided by Real Simple

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