© The Associated Press Dallas police respond after shots were fired during a protest over recent fatal shootings by police in Louisiana and Minnesota, Thursday, July 7, 2016, in Dallas. Snipers opened fire on police officers during protests; several officers were killed, police said. (Maria R. Olivas/The Dallas Morning News via AP)

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Life comes at us mostly as a series of simple, little decisions, more often than not binary in nature. Up or down? Left or right? On or off? Trump or Clinton? We should be grateful things can be broken down into easily digestible blocks, because if the last few days are any indication, our culture's capacity for handling anything more nuanced is rapidly evaporating.

There's a lot more to the discussion of whether black lives matter and how the police behave than a set of simple choices. Black lives matter. All lives matter. Police lives matter. Human lives matter. Those spoiling for violence in the street, however, feel differently. To them a human life matters as mere political currency, useful in the pursuit of sociological objectives that will uproot the values upon which our republic was founded.

To them that's a good thing. Breaking individuals up into groups and then pitting one or more groups against another is the way forward, down the path leading to the destruction of our civic, political and cultural institutions. No rules, just right – to borrow a slogan from the hospitality industry – with right as might makes it. Democracy as practiced by the mob, with no space for dissent and no protection given to dissenters.

How we got as far down that road as we have is not an easy thing to explain. We've found ourselves atop thousands of slippery slopes over the last 30 years; we dodged a few but stumbled down others. Now we're picking up speed as the decline is accelerating, much as the late Daniel Patrick Moynihan suggested we would when he coined the phrase "defining deviancy down."

Though others would and have argued strenuously against it, it is possible to be gravely concerned about the abuses of power and deadly force we see – or we think we see – on videos bystanders take with their phones and at the same time remain a supporter of the police and the rule of law. In fact, it is not only possible but necessary, if our common civilization is to survive and once again prosper.

It is not wrong to suggest the police have too much power, that the training they receive in handling confrontation is too often a lesson in how to provoke the very confrontation they are trying to avoid. After viewing any of the police reality shows that populate basic cable, one wonders how many of them really understand concepts like due process and probable cause.

On the other hand, they are on the front line in the battle against cultural decay and declining standards of behavior. There are people out there for whom the color blue is a trigger to violence, something that was tragically proven Thursday night in Dallas. Yet when the shooting started, they didn't thrown down their guns and scatter; no, they rallied to protect the demonstrators (who were themselves in a very real sense protesting the conduct of the police generally) and get them out of harm's way. Courage under fire, grace under pressure – which is what we would like to see from police everywhere and at all times, forgetting that they are all too human, just like the rest of us.

This does not excuse it when one of their own abuses what they have been given by virtue of a badge, a gun and the ability to call in reinforcements. This is a power used lightly, as a last resort whenever and wherever possible. When the Black Lives Matter movement and others encourage active resistance to that authority, the die is cast and a vicious circle of death and destruction appears. At the same time, we must stop pretending that those who come up short in these encounters are not innocent bystanders minding their own business and are singled out for scrutiny solely because of the color of their skin.

There is no quick, easy solution to these problems. People should be allowed to record interactions with police that involve them or occur in front of them. The police should be held accountable for their behavior at all times and these videos, even when they are misleading, help in that process. The police must show respect to those whom they stop and question, and those who are stopped and questioned must show respect to the police. Black lives in blue uniforms matter just as much as any other and pointing this out, as well as the fact that all lives matter, is not indicative of disrespect and should not be taken that way. We are all created equal and endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights. How we exercise those rights reflects the content of our character and we must all be prepared to own it.

It will be difficult, especially with the rhetoric as white hot as it currently is and with too much blood in the streets, to revive a spirit of mutual respect and cooperation, but that is the only place true healing can begin.