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Dad Slammed for Accusing Daughter of 'Stealing' for Changing College Majors

Newsweek logo Newsweek 6/23/2022 Amanda Spence
A father was slammed for accusing his daughter of "stealing" for changing college majors. Here, a woman studying for her college exams. © DUSANPETKOVIC/GETTY A father was slammed for accusing his daughter of "stealing" for changing college majors. Here, a woman studying for her college exams.

A man is being dragged online for refusing to fund his daughter's college tuition after learning she was going to school for a different major, garnering a lot of disapproval from the internet.

The Reddit post, titled, "AITA for refusing to pay my daughter's tuition after she lied about her major," has been upvoted 6,700 times with 3,900 comments. Redditor @Lopsided_Recover109 shared the post to the subreddit "Am I The A**hole" on June 22.

Going to college is a major investment some parents prepare for even before the birth of their child. There are prepaid college plans to help parents and caregivers pay for college for their kids over time at today's fixed rate with what's called a 529 plan.

However, these plans are becoming a thing of the past. In 2020, only nine states offered prepaid tuition plans to new enrollees, whereas 22 states used to have them, according to Investopedia. There is also the national Private College 529 plan in which people can get fixed tuition rates at almost 300 private universities and colleges in over 30 states as well as the District of Columbia.

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The median cost of college has more than doubled with a growth rate of 6.8 percent a year, according to Education Data Initiative. The average cost of in-state tuition is $9,349, whereas out-of-state tuition amounts to $27,023 a year. The average amount an in-state college student spends at an institution is $25,487 for one year.

The Redditor revealed his 19-year-old daughter told him she was going to college and majoring in computer science, and he was reportedly "ecstatic" about it because she had been set on majoring in illustration instead.

For years, the original poster (OP) has been attempting to "talk her out of it." He knows that she loves illustration, but he said it's very hard to get a "steady job out of that." He wanted her to do something that she could actually be successful in.

The OP added: "As it turns out, she lied to me. She's majoring in illustration. She got some mail about some art exhibition at her school. I thought nothing of it at first because I knew she was a computer science major. After looking into it a bit more, I found out her work was chosen to be displayed in the exhibition."

The man admitted he was "furious," and he has "spent tens of thousands" of dollars for her computer science degree as that's what they had agreed to. He told his daughter she can do whatever she wants, but he won't "support her."

In the post the man suggested that his daughter could pay him back "for the money she stole from me, interest free."

In a comment, he admitted he wasn't upset that her work was chosen in the exhibition, and he said it was an "adequate achievement." But he was "furious" that he found out that way that she "went behind" his back and picked a different major than what they agreed on.

The OP's wife said he's being "unreasonable," and that she is only 19 and asking her to fund her tuition "is asking too much of her." But he didn't think so as he agreed to pay for his daughter to study computer science and "nothing else."

The man concluded: "I was also giving her a chance to make what she did right. I was deceived, and my money was going towards something I had no say in. Now my wife and daughter are upset with me. I'm starting to reflect and think maybe I could've been nicer about the situation."

In a comment, he also revealed he didn't want her to "struggle as much" as he did. He came to his current country from Nigeria, and he admitted he was on his own. He wanted to study animation, but his father talked him out of it because if it didn't "work out," he wouldn't have anything to "fall back on." His father put him on the path to architecture in the end.

"This got me more jobs than being an amateur animator could've," he said.

Numerous comments poured in over the viral post, and people have labeled the OP the one at fault in the situation. One such user said their own father did the "same thing" to them, and they no longer talk. They relayed that "trying to control" his daughter is a "sure-fire way of losing her."

"Her work is being displayed in an exhibition, if it were my daughter, I would be sure to have front row seats," the Redditor said. "If you keep this up, you're [going to] lose your daughter. Apologize and start listening to what she wants, what her hopes and dreams are, then become her biggest cheerleader."

Another user voted YTA as their verdict for the OP, and they relayed that "There's a reason she felt she had to lie about her major. Also, why the heck would you want to dictate your daughter's career anyway?"

One commenter thought the man "created a situation" where his daughter "had to lie" to him "to pursue her dream," adding, "She'll still get a degree in the end. You should be happy about that. Keep this up, and you'll never have a relationship with her."

"YTA," another commenter said. "Not just about the situation, about your attitude too. Why would you want to crush her dreams like that and make her miserable for the rest of her life?"

Another user said the OP can't "determine the success" of his child based on her major. "Not to mention it is a s**tty move as a parent," they said. "You might have just said I only love you if I can control your life."

Some people didn't mince words, and one such Redditor called the man a "terrible parent," and they didn't stop there. "The fact that she's actively proving you wrong by succeeding in this field, and you're still mad at her for going after her dream is exactly why she didn't tell you the truth," they said. "I'm amazed you didn't smother the flame inside her years ago."

Some people brought up the money to be made in illustration. "Illustration as a major can lead to many job opportunities," a user pointed out. "Not to mention, as an internet gig, people who can do great illustrations make big bucks."

Newsweek reached out to Redditor @Lopsided_Recover109 for comment.

This isn't the only viral moment involving family-related drama. A parent was slammed for not letting their daughter spend her birthday money on a book. The internet dragged a teen dad who kept his 10-year-old daughter a secret. In addition, the internet scolded a man for releasing his stepdaughter's indoor cat.

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