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Ex-Chelsea player has stupid reason for not wanting women commentators during the World Cup

SB Nation logo SB Nation 6/25/2018 James Dator
a man looking at the camera © Provided by Vox Media, Inc.

What the ...

Former Chelsea player and sentient meat puppet Jason Cundy went on Good Morning Britain Monday to explain why he doesn’t think women should be soccer commentators.

Cundy, who sounds like a squeezed weasel from The Wind in the Willows (this part is important) doesn’t like having women who are commentators because their, wait for it, “I’d prefer to hear a male voice.” His general thesis is that the women who have been doing commentary work during the World Cup are knowledgable and know how to do their job, but he just doesn’t like the way women sound.

Cundy, a boiled ham squeezed into a department store shirt, took his argument a step further with what he thought was a really apt analogy:

“It’s like, would you prefer listening to Ed Sheeran or Celine Dion?”

The objectively correct answer to cockney Pee Wee Herman’s question is Celine Dion. If you think it’s Sheeran then you’re the feds. Dion is the queen of Canada AND Las Vegas at the same time. Ed Sheeran is a popular warbler who pretends to look interested when old people are talking to him.

a man and a woman sitting on a table: Melbourne Racing © Photo by Vince Caligiuri/Getty Images Melbourne Racing

My biggest grievance with the antiquated ramblings of a knuckle-dragging subhuman like Cundy is that he somehow managed to make Piers Morgan look like the good guy. Nobody should ever be able to wield that kind of power. This is the same Piers Morgan who decided he was a Team USA supporter last World Cup, much to an entire nation’s chagrin.

Jason Cundy, a decently successful footballer who everyone thought died because of a DJ’s joke in 2008, doesn’t like any of those woman types in the commentary booth. Probably because he only responds to low-pitch grunts and the brown sound.

Related slideshow: Best of 2018 World Cup (provided by USA TODAY sports)

Soccer: World Cup-Russia vs Croatia: Croatia player Domagoj Vida (right) celebrates after scoring a goal against Russia in the quarterfinals during the FIFA World Cup 2018 at Fihst Stadium. Best of the FIFA World Cup 2018
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