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Holly Madison says she had 'body dysmorphia' while modeling for Playboy

Wonderwall logo Wonderwall 7/27/2021 Mark Gray

Holly Madison recently looked back at a 15-year-old image of herself in a Playboy Bunny outfit. At the time the photo was taken, she remembered feeling overweight, something she now says is "ridiculous."

The photo, snapped in November 2005 in Las Vegas, showed Holly walking a runway and modeling a Roberto Cavalli-designed Playboy Bunny Uniform.

Holly Madison posing for the camera © Broadimage/Shutterstock Holly Madison

The former "Girls Next Door" star opened up about that moment on TikTok.


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"I'm sharing this because I think it might help people realize that sometimes our body dysmorphia is off the charts," she said while the photo digitally hung in the background. "I really feel like worrying about what I look like has gotten in the way of me living my best life and being as happy as I could be, and really enjoying life as much as I could."

Holly Madison sitting on a table © Ethan Miller/Getty Images Holly Madison

She continued, "I hope that people can take a minute to think about how they think about their own body, and is it holding you back by feeling bad about yourself? And it's not worth it, it's not worth feeling bad about yourself. Like there are things that we all want to improve about ourselves, but it's not even worth taking the time to be miserable."

The photos from that evening show a seemingly happy Holly, as she appeared confident on the runway. Other images show her smiling with late Playboy founder Hugh Hefner and other models. In reality, Holly said she was anything but happy. 

"I looked at myself when I looked like this and was terrified and thought I had gained weight, and thought that I hadn't stuck to my diet, and I thought that my thighs were huge, and I thought, I need to lose five pounds at least," she remembers. "And that's ridiculous. I looked like a stick."

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