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Shannen Doherty Shares Emotional Chemotherapy Photo for Breast Cancer Awareness: 'I Felt Like I Was Losing Myself'

People logo People 10/12/2017 Aurelie Corinthios
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Shannen Doherty has shared her breast cancer battle with fans nearly every step of the way — and her latest post is no exception.

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, the actress took to Instagram to share an emotional photo of herself crying over her hair loss as she underwent chemotherapy.

“This image is so personal to me,” she began. “I had started chemo. Was using a cold cap in hope to not lose my hair. End result was clumps in my hands.”

“I was sick, felt like I was losing myself,” she said. “Gained people and lost people. Got weak and got strong. Felt ugly and yet more beautiful inside than I had ever felt before. I remember this like it was yesterday, like it was a minute ago.”

“Cancer has so many phases. Shock, denial, acceptance, anger, resentment, rebellion, fear, appreciation, beauty. Remission,” she continued. “Even then, the phases keep coming. Cancer is with you forever. Those who have experienced it know that even after you’ve kicked its ass, it still impacts you, in good ways and bad. You still go thru the roller coaster of emotions. You still need support and love. And you can still grasp life and live, live live. #cancer #cancerslayer.” 

Breast Cancer Awareness month. This image is so personal to me. I had started chemo. Was using a cold cap in hope to not lose my hair. End result was clumps in my hands. I was sick, felt like I was losing myself. Gained people and lost people. Got weak and got strong. Felt ugly and yet more beautiful inside than I had ever felt before. I remember this like it was yesterday, like it was a minute ago. Cancer has so many phases. Shock, denial, acceptance, anger, resentment, rebellion, fear, appreciation, beauty. Remission. Even then, the phases keep coming. Cancer is with you forever. Those who have experienced it know that even after you’ve kicked it’s ass, it still impacts you, in good ways and bad. You still go thru the roller coaster of emotions. You still need support and love. And you can still grasp life and live, live live. #cancer #cancerslayer

A post shared by ShannenDoherty (@theshando) on

Doherty, 45, exclusively revealed her breast cancer diagnosis to PEOPLE in August 2015. Since opening up about her ordeal, she has shared regular health updates with followers and fans on social media, including undergoing her first day of radiation, heading into appointments with her mother by her side and this past April, announcing that her cancer is in remission.

This summer, after showing off her growing pixie cut, Doherty was happy to reveal that she was back at work shooting Paramount Network’s series Heathers, a reboot of the late 1980s cult hit movie in which she originally starred.

Was back on set today. It's been a rough two years. Fighting cancer. As an actor, people bench you. They assume you're to weak, not able etc etc. and yet it's something like work that invigorates and renews strength to conquer the unimaginable beast. I compared myself to a car today. That vintage Shelby that's been in the garage too long. It's still a great car. The best. Just needs time for the engine to warm up and it's good to go. Performing like it's supposed to. I'm grateful for today. Grateful for everyday. Thank you @heathers for letting me play and be someone else today. Great crew, great writers, great cast, great show, great director. #paramountnetwork2018

A post shared by ShannenDoherty (@theshando) on Aug 8, 2017 at 10:30pm PDT

“Was back on set today. It’s been a rough two years. Fighting cancer,” she wrote on Instagram. “As an actor, people bench you. They assume you’re to weak, not able etc etc. and yet it’s something like work that invigorates and renews strength to conquer the unimaginable beast.”

“I compared myself to a car today,” she continued. “That vintage Shelby that’s been in the garage too long. It’s still a great car. The best. Just needs time for the engine to warm up and it’s good to go. Performing like it’s supposed to. I’m grateful for today. Grateful for everyday.”

Stars Who've Faced Breast Cancer, and Their Inspiring Stories:  JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS: <p><strong>Age at high-risk diagnosis: </strong>56 One day after the 2017 Emmy Awards, the Veep star was diagnosed with breast cancer. “1 in 8 women get breast cancer. Today, I’m the one,” the actress wrote on a photo posted to Twitter about 10 days later. “The good news is that I have the most glorious group of supportive and caring friends, and fantastic insurance through my union. The bad news is that not all women are so lucky, so let’s fight all cancers and make universal health care a reality.”</p> Stars Who've Faced Breast Cancer, and Their Inspiring Stories

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