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2006 CANNES UNDRESSED! By Kat Giantis

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Halter Falter: Why is Paris Hilton unparalleled in the art of self-promotion? Because not even she can resist checking out the product being peddled. Paris ogles her surprisingly robust double-sided sticky-taped assets as she descends on the Cannes Film Festival with no movie to promote, only a deep-seated desire to do her patented arched-back pose in front of the biggest cluster of cameras currently available. And she gives the shutterbugs exactly what they want by stepping out in a multi-hued Missoni halter dress that appears to have been formed using all the ribbon candy that's been sitting at the bottom of our grandma's purse. Too bad there weren't a few more pieces to go around. With a neckline that's not so much plunging as making a suicidal leap, Paris' abbreviated frock would be better suited on a candy striper assigned to the medical wing of the Playboy Mansion.
© George Pimentel/
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