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Widow's Eek:Marc Anthony has been looking a wee bit peaked these days (and by "a wee bit," we mean, "someone please get that man to a doctor"), but it seems a little premature for Jennifer Lopez to break out the widow's weeds. Unfortunately, in this fussy, funereal black lace dress fit for a fiftysomething, she looks ready to throw herself dramatically across the coffin. And speaking of cadavers, did a mortician spray on the megastar's makeup? Her bizarrely bloodless lips and cheeks make her appear waxy to the point of embalmed. Also not helping matters are the eight pounds of eye shadow she's sporting, resulting in a look less smoky than five-alarm blaze, and her enormous diamond earrings, which are so oversized the Olsen Twins could use them as hula-hoops. Still, these minor disasters can't compare to the tragic teased tresses rising from Lopez's noggin like some sort of '60s-style soufflé. Jen, sweetie, the bouffant went out of style for a reason. Why oh why are you determined to bring it back, especially when your Aquanet-laden, mile-high mane comes off more Jo Anne Worley than Jackie O.?
© Theo Wargo/
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