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Geezer Burn: It's no easy feat dousing the volcanic hotness that is Jessica Biel, who recently scorched the pages of GQ in a moistened, two-sizes-too-small bikini. But she somehow manages to turn her five-alarm figure into a smoldering ruin thanks to a tragically dumpy tan duster last seen hanging off the sturdy shoulders of Dorothy Zbornak during a group hug with the rest of the Golden Girls. Alas, not even the nubile starlet's second-skin jeans, tantalizing tease of cleavage and just-rolled-out-of-bed tresses can overcome the "Silkwood"-strength cold shower that is her hoary housecoat. (Chad Buchanan/Getty Images)
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