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Undressed!

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Harem Scare 'Em: There are a few things that Katie Holmesdoes very well, such as gazing down adoringly at Tom Cruise, gushing to the press about her "amazing" life and having heart-to-hearts with Dawson and Pacey. But fashion design? That would be an amazingly emphatic no, as you can see by this original creation the crop-coiffed actress donned for the official opening of her Broadway debut, "All My Sons." Determining which part of Katie's amateurish white silk jumpsuit is the most hideous is a little like deciding which death scene is the most depressing, Old Yeller's or Bambi's mom's, because no matter what you pick, it's gonna end in tears. Is it the Modern Maturity magazine-approved black lace overlay (sniffle)? The schlumpy, cleavage-deflating neckline (mewl)? The superfluous gold necklace straight out of an episode of "Dynasty" (sob)? Or the gathered ankles on her unpleasant harem pants, which even Jeannie would be too embarrassed to wear outside her bottle (waaaaaah)? Speaking of everyone's favorite blinking, wish-bestowing blonde, perhaps it would be a good idea for Holmes, who has long brushed off suggestions that she's under her husband's E-meter-attached thumb, to avoid duds made famous by someone who called the man in her life "Master." (Walter McBride/Retna Ltd.)
© Walter McBride/Retna Ltd.
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