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9 moms reveal exactly why they fired their nanny or babysitter

Redbook logo Redbook 4 days ago Andrea Stanley
9 Moms Reveal Exactly Why They Fired Their Nanny or Babysitter © The Weinstein Company 9 Moms Reveal Exactly Why They Fired Their Nanny or Babysitter

Editor’s note: The opinions in this article are the author’s, as published by our content partner, and do not represent the views of MSN or Microsoft.

The whole labour and delivery process almost (almost!) feels like a cake walk compared to having to find the right person to care for your child. The struggle was especially real for these moms who hired - and then had to fire - their OOC nannies. Beware: OMG-worthy content ahead.

"She would ask to borrow my clothes and suggest we go out for dinner."

"After a year of working for us, I had to fire my eight-year-old son's babysitter. When I first interviewed her she seemed bookish and responsible, but almost immediately after I hired her, things got weird. She was in her early 20s and it seemed she was more interested in becoming my friend than maintaining a professional relationship. Right off the bat, she would do things like ask to borrow my clothes or suggest we go out for dinner together. I always declined, and really started to question if she was the right fit, but a few of the moms who were often at school pick-up commented to me about how on top of it she seemed - always making sure my son was polite and held his hand crossing the street. So I let it go, but then things went to a whole new level. My son was struggling with his reading, and even though we had a plan in place with his teachers about how to best support him, his nanny would force him to read for hours (I guess she was bookish!). My son would be in tears. I talked to her about it, and told her it wasn't necessary for her to get involved with his school work beyond what his teacher assigned. After that, she did everything she could to avoid communicating with me and would only text my husband. At the end of the school year, I told her we no longer needed her services." –Andi, 32, Montclair, NJ

"It became obvious these ladies had zero experience with infants."

"I have twin eight-month-old girls, so it'd be fair to say I'm a neurotic first-time mom. I keep my girls on a rigid schedule and have an explicit set of instructions for everything - you know, so I can maintain my sanity! That proved to be a problem with my nannies. To rewind: As I was preparing to go back to work, I was having a heck of a time finding someone with twin and infant experience. I found a lead - a set of sisters - through a mom group, and in desperation, I hired them on the spot. When they started, I shared the routine I had the girls on for feeding, changing, sleeping, and activity time. We decided to install a nanny cam, and I realised they weren't really following my instructions. At first, I was open to some of the things they were doing, because I was new to the mom thing. But after the girls started sleeping through the night, and I wasn't such a zombie, it became obvious that these ladies had zero experience with infants. When the babies started solids, one of them said to me, 'I'm nervous because I haven't done this in awhile.' So I started monitoring the nanny cam super closely while I was at work. When I saw something that bothered me, like when they didn't follow the nap schedule, I would bring it up, and they would actually lie about it and say they were following the instructions. At that point, I gave them one-week's notice and let them go." –Lauren, 35, White Plains, NY

"I caught her out in the neighbourhood on her cell phone with my daughter in her stroller when she should have been at home sleeping."

"I had to fire the first nanny I hired to care for my daughter. For one, it was a major personality conflict. She was moody and would often not look at me when I spoke to her. And then I realised she was not respecting my wishes when it came to certain rules I had, like about making sure my baby was in the crib for her naps. Once I caught her out in the neighbourhood on her cell phone with my daughter in her stroller when she should have been at home sleeping. My husband and I felt strongly that if she didn't listen to us on basic things, what else would she do? There was just a terrible energy, and it made us uncomfortable. Because we felt nervous about the whole situation, we ended up telling her that our needs changed. I didn't have the guts to get into anything with her, but I think she got the hint because she never asked us for a reference." –Monica, 40, Westchester, NY

"It got to the point where she was over 15 or 20 minutes late every day."

"When I had to get rid of my kids' babysitter, it was such a bummer. Overall, she was a really sweet lady who had a sense of humour my kids loved and was great at keeping them active and entertained. So everyone always asks why I let her go. Well, she was watching my kids over the summer. I work in a very intense environment where being late is not tolerated. Every morning, my babysitter would show up late. I was understanding initially-a flat tire, bad traffic, a call from a family member who wasn't well - but it got to the point where she was over 15 or 20 minutes late every day. I told her how important being punctual was since if caused me to be late to work and it was starting to have negative consequences for me professionally. For a short time she got a little better - rolling in just a few minutes after the time she was supposed to arrive - but then it went back to the usual and I just couldn't buy the excuses anymore. It was a sad parting. I wish she could have just learned to listen to her alarm clock a little better." –Megan, 29, Melbourne, FL

In Pics: 6 gift ideas for your beloved childcare providers

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Your Full-Time Nanny: <p>Typically, you should give a bonus of one or two weeks’ pay. But depending on how long she’s worked for you, a nonmonetary gift tied to her taste or interests (like a Sephora gift set or a scarf and gloves) is a thoughtful add-on to show you really care.</p> 6 Gift Ideas for Your Beloved Childcare Providers | From the babysitter to the nanny

"My nanny had been canvassing the school playground for other jobs."

"I sort of felt indifferent about my kids' babysitter. She got the job done and I knew my kids were safe, but she wasn't over-the-top friendly. When I got home, she would usually say a brief goodbye and beeline for the door, or if I would text her throughout the day to see how things were going she would usually respond in one-word answers. Still, my kids were old enough to express themselves, and they told me repeatedly that they were fine with her. One night, I was at a school event and one of the parents came up to me to ask me why I was no longer using my nanny and if I would recommend her. I was a little taken aback and confused. It finally came out that my nanny had been canvassing the school playground for other jobs. I was pretty surprised and brought it up to her the next day and her response was that she preferred working with younger kids. It was all odd, and because I could no longer trust her I told her that we would have to let her go." –Jess, 35, Reno, NV

"We hired our nanny because she spoke Spanish - but it turned out she lied."

"Okay, this is super strange, but my husband fired our nanny because she couldn't speak Spanish. Here's the back story: My husband is from Mexico and speaks the language of his native country fluently. I am from a town in Oklahoma that isn't much more than a cornfield, so I do not speak Spanish. When we had our son, it was really important to us that he had an awareness and appreciation of my husband's culture, namely by being bilingual. However, my husband often travels for work so there isn't always someone around who can speak Spanish to him, so we decided to hire a Spanish-speaking caregiver to help reinforce the language when my husband was away. During the interview process, I felt an immediate connection to the last woman I met with. When I asked her if she spoke Spanish, she affirmed that she did. I never thought to question her anymore about it, and hired her right away. The first few weeks were fine, but about a month into her employment my husband got home before I did and when he started speaking to the nanny in Spanish she didn't respond. Her eyes got wide and she was frozen in place. After a few awkward minutes, she finally admitted to my husband that she did not speak the language but desperately needed a job so she had lied about it. My husband told her on the spot that we couldn't keep her on. We joke about it now, but at the time it felt so unreal that sometimes I still cannot believe that happened." –Tiffany, 38, Chicago, IL

"She called my kids 'evil monsters' on social media."

"When my daughter started kindergarten, she needed someone to watch her part-time. I had a set of friends who were willing to do a sitter share - I used the sitter for three days and they used her for the other two. To be honest, I never really loved the woman, but it was so hard finding someone reliable who wanted to work part-time, so I just went with it. The first red flag was that whenever we needed to communicate, she always did it via text. She never liked to have conversations in person. Once, I called to talk to her about a schedule change and she didn't answer the phone but immediately texted me. My plan was to make it through the school year and then find someone else, but that plan went out the window when I happened to do a little social media stalking of her one night. Her Facebook account was private - I couldn't see pictures or her personal status updates - but for some reason, anything she was tagged in showed up on her feed. On one status update where she was tagged it said: 'Waiting for my bestie to finish work so we can hang.' Her comment shocked me. It said: 'As soon as I'm done watching the evil monsters I'll be there.' I took a screen snapshot and texted it to her and said that I would no longer be needing her. She never responded. Needless to say, my friends also let her go." –Bianca, 29, Dallas, TX

"My daughter was getting too attached to her."

This is a little embarrassing to admit, but I fired my nanny because my daughter was getting too attached to her. I would get home from work and my daughter would have no interest in seeing me and would even cry hysterically when the nanny would have to leave. It got to the point where I had such serious working mom guilt that I told the nanny we no longer needed child care. I felt pretty bad about it after the fact." –Tara, 41, New York, NY

"She had been using our Uber account when she wasn't watching our child."

"My nanny was sort of a thief, so I had to let her go. Basically, after only working for us for three months she said she deserved a raise because she had 'proven herself.' When we hired her, we had never discussed any performance-based raises, especially within that short amount of time. When we sat down with her and talked about it, she seemed indifferent and like she didn't really care that we declined giving her raise, but I had a bad feeling. Over the next six months, we caught her lying about money on multiple occasions. She would say she took our four-year-old out to lunch or for a treat, and needed extra money for that. We had no problem compensating her, but she could never provide any receipts and our child would always tell us they never ate anywhere. It was like she was charging us for little things because we hadn't given her more money. The final straw came when I realised she had been using our Uber account when she wasn't watching our child. We had given her the login for emergencies. When we mentioned it to her she said it had been a mistake and that she had forgotten to switch to her account. But at that point, all of the odd money stuff left a bad taste in our mouths and we told her that we would need to part ways." –Jordan, 30, Sacramento, C

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