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Jonghyun's heart-wrenching 'suicide note' released by close friend after K-Pop singer tragically takes his own life aged 27

Mirror logo Mirror 19/12/2017 Zoe Shenton

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Video provided by Reuters

A heart-wrenching letter left by Jonghyun lays bare the K-Pop star's inner turmoil shortly before he took his own life aged 27.

The talented musician, who sang and performed as part of the chart-topping band SHINee, was found by police inside a rented apartment on Monday after his sister called officers with concerns that Kim was threatening to take his own life.

A medical team arrived on the scene and performed CPR, but the artist was pronounced dead upon arriving at a Seoul hospital.

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As his family, friends and fans continue to mourn his tragic death, his close friend from the group Dear Cloud has shared a letter he wrote, saying she believed there was a reason he left her the letter, reports a number of Korean media outlets.

a close up of a boy: Credits: Instagram © Provided by Trinity Mirror Shared Services Limited Credits: Instagram

The Koreaboo website also says the singer, whose stage name is Nine9, released the letter with his family's permission.

She wrote: "I was not sure whether I should be posting his will or not, still contemplating in fact, but Jonghyun asked a favor to release his final words if he leaves this world behind.

person wearing a hat © Provided by Trinity Mirror Shared Services Limited "I was really hoping that this day would not come….. After I discussed this with his family, we have made a decision to release his written will. There must be a reason why he had left this with me."

The letter, which has been translated into English, begins: "I am broken from the inside. The depression that slowly gnawed away at me has finally swallowed me whole. And I could not defeat it.

"I detested myself. I grabbed my disjointed memories and yelled at them to pull themselves together but was met with no response.

a group of people posing for a photo: Credits: REX/Shutterstock © Provided by Trinity Mirror Shared Services Limited Credits: REX/Shutterstock

"If I can’t help myself breathe properly it’s better to stop breathing at all.

"I asked myself who was responsible for me. Only I. I was utterly alone. It’s easy to talk about the end. It’s hard to actually end."

It goes on: "I lived until now because of that difficulty. I told myself I wanted to run. Yes, I wanted to run. From myself. From you.

"I asked who was there. It was me. It was me again. And it was me yet again."

a person posing for the camera © Provided by Trinity Mirror Shared Services Limited

He finished the note: "Clashing with the world was never meant for me. The life of fame was never meant for me.

"That’s all the reason why it hurts. Because I’m famous. Why did I choose this. It’s so funny.

"It’s a wonder I lasted so long.

"What can I say. Just tell me I’ve done well. That this is good enough. That I’ve worked hard. Even if you can’t smile don’t fault me on my way. You did well, you worked hard. Goodbye."

Read the full translated letter below:

a man holding a microphone up to his mouth: Credits: AFP © Provided by Trinity Mirror Shared Services Limited Credits: AFP

Echoing the contents of the letter, the musician's last Instagram post were words originating from Dear Cloud's song Beside You.

The post was captioned: "I pray that you aren't hurting."

"I had a thought while curling up/ in a dark room alone/ When you might regret letting go of everyone. / Have the sighs and the restless wounds stopped by now./ I pray only that you aren’t hurting./ I hope only that you will be happy./ Please don’t try to be alone in the darkness./ Don’t torture yourself/ Don’t torture you./ Please."

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Korean media reports also claimed the talented musician had sent text messages to his sister hours before he was found, telling her that he couldn't go on.

The texts, which have been translated to English, reportedly read: "It's been really hard up until now. Send me off please.

"Tell everyone I've suffered. This is my last greeting."

a girl taking a selfie © Provided by Trinity Mirror Shared Services Limited

A statement from Gangnam Police confirmed the singer's tragic death on Monday.

"On December 18, 2017 at 4:42PM Jonghyun's older sister reported to Police that her brother was about to commit suicide," it read.

"We went to his residence in Chungdam and discovered that he had attempted to commit suicide."

The statement added: "Emergency responders were with us at the time so we rushed him to the Konkuk University Hospital in a state of cardiac arrest."

Readers seeking support and information about suicide prevention can contact:

Lifeline Australia - 13 11 14


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