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Beaches will never be safe again! Online retailer releases bizarre DENIM swim briefs

Daily Mail logo Daily Mail 14/05/2019 Carly Stern For Dailymail.com

An online clothing company is now selling tight denim swim briefs for men who can't bear to part with their jeans even when they hit the beach.

Shinesty, which prides itself on offering 'outlandish' clothing, is offering the Daytona Dong Sarong 'Jeado' Swim Briefs, which have recently gone viral.

While the teeny-tiny male bathing suit certainly looks like a pair of super cut-off jeans, though, they're not actually made with denim, and instead have a denim print on the front and back.

a person wearing a costume: Cool kids: Shinesty, which prides itself for offering 'outlandish' clothing, is offering the Daytona Dong Sarong 'Jeado' Swim Briefs

Cool kids: Shinesty, which prides itself for offering 'outlandish' clothing, is offering the Daytona Dong Sarong 'Jeado' Swim Briefs
© Provided by Associated Newspapers Limited

The polyester-spandex blend swim briefs are selling for $39.99, and the brand has a healthy sense of humor about them.

'They say jorts are the above-ground pool of the shorts world. We'd be inclined to agree,' reads the description. 

'Our denim print swim brief, also known as the Jeado, also known as the Daytona Dong Sarong is just like that, except it is the above-ground hot tub of the swim brief world... or something like that. 

'It is like eating a bag of chips in church. Everyone looks over at you with disgust, but deep down they want some too. And if you're really risky you'll combine those last 2 sentences, eating a bag of chips in church while wearing this denim swimsuit. You'll probably get tossed out, but you'll look and taste good doing it.'

What's more, the site recommends that they 'be paired with caterpillar-style mustaches for optimal results'. 

'They say jorts are the above-ground pool of the shorts world. We'd be inclined to agree,' reads the description

'They say jorts are the above-ground pool of the shorts world. We'd be inclined to agree,' reads the description
© Provided by Associated Newspapers Limited

The comical 'Jeado' was designed by a woman named Anna P. in Boulder, Colorad, who also designed several other denim swimsuits for the site — including a black acid wash version of the 'Jeado'.

'This denim swim brief is the mall-rat older brother who shops at Hot Topic, drinks 32 oz Monsters and has snakebite piercings. Slipknot and Whitesnake, you've met your maker,' reads the description for the darker version.

Finally, there's a light acid wash version which have the 'benefits of wearing jorts without all of the chafing that comes with it.'

'We were inspired to create these faux-denim swim briefs when we saw some country boy rocking out at a Florida Georgia Line concert, hammered off of Four Lokos in Daytona,' reads the page.

'The chap was wearing jorts that were way too short - borderline undies. As people flocked away, we knew he was onto something.'

Intrigued shoppers may be excited to learn that the denim swimwear isn't just for men, either: The brand also offers also a denim-print bikini and a one-piece swimsuit for women.

a person standing on a beach: The brand also offers also a denim-print bikini and a one-piece swimsuit for women

The brand also offers also a denim-print bikini and a one-piece swimsuit for women
© Provided by Associated Newspapers Limited

Though this particular design isn't made out of real denim, a pair of jean 'panties' that went viral in March certainly are.

Y/Project, which regularly makes headlines for its bizarre designs, is offering the 'Navy Denim Panties' as part of its latest collection via the e-retailer SSense.

The totally legless, high-waisted jeans have the shape of granny panties or an adult diaper, and have unsurprisingly left shoppers scratching their heads.

Each pair retails for $315, and as of now SSense only had them available in size X-Small — though it's unclear if that was always the only size for sale, or if the other sizes sold out. 

Fashion fans really took notice of the item this week after SSense shared an image of them on Instagram.

a person standing posing for the camera: Another odd denim choice: Y/Project, which regularly makes headlines for its bizarre designs, began selling 'Navy Denim Panties' this spring

Another odd denim choice: Y/Project, which regularly makes headlines for its bizarre designs, began selling 'Navy Denim Panties' this spring
© Provided by Associated Newspapers Limited

The website describes them as 'denim brief-style shorts in navy' with fading throughout, three-pocket styling, belt-loops at the waistband, copper-tone hardware, and tonal stitching. 

Commenters, however, describe them as 'ugly as s***' and 'just horrible.'

'This def ain't it ladies,' wrote one commenter, while another wrote simply, 'Oh hell no.'

'This is the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life,' wrote yet another.

They were also described as an 'adult denim diaper,' a 'glorified adult diaper,' and 'awful.'

The 'panties' were actually first seen at the brand's Spring/Summer runway show at Paris Fashion Week last fall, but it's taken some time for the greater population to notice.

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