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Friendship Day Special: Are most of your friends married? Here are some ways to balance the relationship

Free Press Journal logo Free Press Journal 07-08-2022
© Provided by Free Press Journal

Time seems to fly so fast. Only a decade back my girlfriends and I were getting drunk and playing truth and dare; talking about our crush and bad-mouthing our team lead. All of a sudden, things have changed. Everyone is married now and most have at least one kid. I am at an age when an invitation to a child's birthday has become a common affair. The last time I got invited to a child's birthday party was when I was a school girl and came back with a return gift.

These are still new developments. My friends are newly married and some new mothers. The change hasn't still sunk in. Some friendships even ended after the friend got married. Most single men or women are readjusting to the arrangement.

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There is little chance that you will any longer be a priority for your friends. But that's not something to sulk about. The truth is there are many new connections you invite when your friends get married. It is not uncommon to become great friends with their spouse and be a loving "godfather" or "godmother" to their kids. Frequent dinner invites aren't uncommon either.

For some of us, who are averse to marriage, our married friends provide a sense of normalcy and social cushion much better than any relative would be able to. We are still part of their social life without the torturous dissection of our personal choices at social events. The joy of being able to spoil the child of your friends can't be described in words.

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While there are many perks of having a married friend and being part of his/her new life, your friend isn't the same person after marriage. They may not be interested in discussing Ranveer Singh's naked photos with you. Rather a problem with in-laws might be agitating her and she might need you to listen to her patiently. Also, single woman/man problems are so unique that they can only be understood by our single friends.

A few ways to maintain balance in your life when your girl/boy gang consists more of married people:

1. Understand and accept the new priorities of your married friends

2. Do not expect them to show up for your like before. However, let them know you would continue to make some minimal demands

3. If possible, be pals with their spouse. Many times, it is likely that you get a second best friend

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4. If you see your friend is busy with his/her new life, do not hesitate to move on. They may come back soon. Have compassion for her instead of resentment

5. If you notice that your married friends now only want to hang out with their married friends, walk straight out of such fair-weather friendships

6. Go out into the world and meet amazing people

7. It's a myth that you can't make new friends in your 30s and 40s. Many people are willingly staying single today and these people often make great friends

8. Do not entertain too much in-law gossip from your married friends. If the other party is only treating you as a means to cry about her new situation and is not very considerate about your time and feelings, do not hesitate to draw your boundaries

9. Don't compare your life with that of your friend. Marriage has its pros and cons. Just as being married and staying single have theirs

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