© Provided by Evening Standard
There’s a common misconception that homeworking is a doss. As someone who’s worked from home off and on — mostly on — for nearly a decade, take it from me: the opposite is true. Homeworking requires the upmost self-discipline and mental rigour. When Lady Gaga sang “Ain’t it hard keeping it so hardcore?”, it wasn’t a drunk, self-soiled Bradley Cooper she had in mind. She was expressing her awed respect for the WFH massive.
Don’t believe me? You’re about to find out for yourself. Twitter has already asked its staff to ride out Covid-19 from home, and if the Government’s worst-case scenario comes to pass, a load more companies will soon be following suit. Only the toughest workers will survive these weeks with either their sanity or their employment contract intact, but I can help you be one of them.
First, a quick-fire Dos and Don’ts round: Do take a daily shower, but don’t take a daily “TV break” to watch Loose Women. Do declutter your immediate work area, but don’t make today the day you finally alphabetise your spice rack. Do put a bra on. Don’t ask me to explain the science. It’s a fact that the brain can only engage when the breasts are restrained. And if you’re a man, I dunno, maybe invest in some extra-tight tighty-whities? A homeworker’s jockstrap? Just ensure any loose items are properly stowed before take-off.
Accept that, at least 12 times per day, you’ll “come to” from a fugue state and find yourself standing in front of the open fridge door, shovelling cashews into your mouth to keep up your energy levels while you decide what else to eat.
© Provided by Evening Standard
Stock photo of a laptop on a dining room table set up as a remote office to work from home (PA)
The only way to avoid putting on the “self-isolator’s stone” is to rid your kitchen of all temptations. Add it to the padlocked Brexit/Trump’s second term/all-purpose survivalist-prepper stockpile instead.
You’ll also need to up your email game. As face-to-face communication is out of the question, and your phone is a luxury, all-inclusive cruise for viruses, this is now your main point of contact with the outside world.
Accept that you’ll find yourself standing in front of the fridge, shovelling cashews into your mouth
Unfortunately, email is fraught with potential misunderstandings. One stray exclamation mark, and you’ve accidentally asked your line manager to sleep over. Aim for a tone that’s both direct and breezy, but never risk an actual joke, or else it will look like you’ve got time to spare, and your boss will increase your workload accordingly. Which brings us to time management, every homeworker’s true stock-in-trade. Only “time management” is a misnomer. You’re not managing time, you’re jealously guarding it against all the thieves who’d snatch your precious minutes and make them their own. The neighbours who assume you’ll sign for their deliveries, the flatmate who hopes you’ll hang their washing, the “funemployed” friend who invites you out for coffee at 11am on a Tuesday. Tell them all to do one.
Pictures: Coronoavirus (COVID 19) outbreak
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China has been battling an outbreak of a new SARS-like coronavirus, named 2019-nCoV, which originated in Wuhan. The virus has claimed over 1,000 lives in mainland China – far surpassing the death toll during the SARS outbreak in 2003 – and infected over 43,000 people around the world. The Chinese government has allocated $144 million to combat the virus. The country and several of its cities are under a travel lockdown as other nations try to contain the spread of the virus, with major airlines suspending their service from and to the Asian nation. Outside of China, the Philippines reported the first death on Feb. 2, 2020, and Hong Kong on Feb. 4. The other 25 countries and regions infected by the novel coronavirus are Australia, Belgium, Cambodia, Canada, Finland, France, Germany, India, Italy, Japan, Macao, Malaysia, Nepal, Russia, Singapore, South Korea, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sweden, Taiwan, Thailand, UAE, U.K., U.S. and Vietnam. On Jan. 30, the World Health Organization declared the coronavirus outbreak a global emergency.
(Pictured) A man in protective gear waits to evacuate residents from a public housing building in Hong Kong on Feb. 11.
Members of the media stand near the cruise ship Diamond Princess, where dozens of passengers were tested positive for coronavirus, at Daikoku Pier Cruise Terminal in Yokohama, Japan, on Feb. 11.
People wear masks as a precautionary measure at the Seoul railway station in South Korea on Feb. 10.
A resident wearing a protective face mask looks on at Patan Durbar Square in Patan, Nepal, on Feb. 10.
A Malaysian Royal Guard wears a protective mask as he stands guard outside National Palace in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, on Feb. 10.
A woman walks past a sand sculpture depicting people wearing protective masks with a message reading 'Fight against coronavirus, we stand with China' made by Indian artist Sudarsan Pattnaik at Puri beach in Odisha, India, on Feb. 10.
Tourists wearing face masks visit Gyeongbokgung Palace in Seoul, South Korea, on Feb. 10.
People wear protective masks as they wait to cross the street in Hong Kong on Feb. 10.
A worker wearing a protective suit carries a fogging machine as others prepare to disinfect a business establishment in Shanghai, China, on Feb. 9.
A passenger wearing a mask walks outside the Shanghai railway station in China on Feb. 8.
Workers produce protective clothing at a factory in Wuxi, China, on Feb. 8. The factory, which previously produced suits and sportswear, switched to production of protective clothing as demand increased due to the ongoing coronavirus outbreak.
Family members of passengers from the cruise ship World Dream docked at Kai Tak cruise terminal, wave on shore in Hong Kong on Feb. 8. The cruise ship with approximately 1,800 passengers remained quarantined in Hong Kong's Victoria Harbor on Feb. 8. Several passengers from mainland China on a previous World Dream cruise were found to have the new coronavirus on returning home.
A Hindu devotee wears a mask as she carries a milk pot on her head at a shrine in Batu Caves during the Thaipusam festival in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, on Feb. 8.
French Health and Solidarity Minister Agnès Buzyn leaves after attending a meeting about the situation of the n-CoV 2019 coronavirus, in Paris, France, on Feb. 8. The minister said that five British nationals including a child have tested positive for the new coronavirus in France.
Tourists wearing face masks line up near a departure gate at the airport in Bali, Indonesia, on Feb. 8. Thousands of Chinese tourists are reportedly stranded in Bali following suspension of all flights to and from China.
Hong Kong Chief Executive Carrie Lam speaks to the media during a press conference on the coronavirus situation in Hong Kong on Feb. 8. Lam said that the government has bought 48 million masks and received 17 million more from China to counter the shortage of masks in Hong Kong.
South Korean Prime Minister Chung Sye-kyun has his temperature checked during a visit to a clinic in Gyeonggi, South Korea, on Feb. 8.
People wearing masks walk in a subway station in Hong Kong on Feb. 7.
People look on from the quarantined cruise liner Diamond Princess, in Yokohama, south of Tokyo, Japan, on Feb. 7. About 64 passengers from the ship have tested positive for the virus. Another ship, the World Dream, has been docked and quarantined at the Kai Tak Cruise Terminal in Hong Kong. It has 3,600 passengers and crew on board.
Flight attendants wearing protective clothing and masks serve snacks to Canadians, who had been evacuated from China due to the outbreak of novel Coronavirus on an American charter plane, on another aircraft taking them to Canadian Forces Base (CFB) Trenton from the Vancouver International Airport in Richmond, Canada, on Feb. 7.
Nurses check the temperature of visitors at a hospital in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, on Feb. 5.
Joe Parisi, Dane County executive, discusses the first confirmed case of coronavirus in a Wisconsin resident as Madison Mayor Satya Rhodes-Conway looks on during a news conference in Madison, Wisconsin, on Feb. 5.
Workers in protective gear are seen on Japan Coast Guard boats in Yokohama, Japan, on Feb. 5, bringing patients from the quarantined Diamond Princess cruise ship.
Workers wearing protective gears spray disinfectant on a street at Namdaemun Market in Seoul, South Korea, on Feb. 5.
A public health ministry nurse measures the temperature of a passenger arriving from France, at the Toussaint Louverture International Airport in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, on Feb. 4.
Employees wearing face masks are seen at a hotel near Algiers, Algeria, on Feb. 4, where people who were evacuated from Wuhan, China, the epicenter of the outbreak, are quarantined as a preventive measure.
Sylvie Briand, director of infectious hazard management department at the World Health Organization (WHO), attends a press conference on the coronavirus in Geneva, Switzerland, on Feb. 4.
Beds are set up at an exhibition center, which was converted into a hospital, in Wuhan on Feb. 4.
This handout photo released by Malaysia's Ministry of Health shows citizens being directed onto a bus by health officials as they arrive at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport in Malaysia in Feb. 4.
People wear face masks as they go about their daily lives in Singapore on Feb. 4.
Medical workers hold a strike outside the office of Hospital Authority in Hong Kong, as they demand the closure of borders with China, on Feb. 4.
A nurse checks the temperature of a visitor as part of the coronavirus screening procedure at a hospital in Kuala Lumpur on Feb. 3.
Police walk past signage before the arrival of Myanmar students, who were evacuated on a chartered flight from Wuhan, at the international airport in Mandalay, Myanmar, on Feb. 2.
Members of the Association for Sri Lanka and China Social and Cultural Cooperation (ASLCSCC) hold candles during a vigil to pray for people who are suffering from coronavirus across the world, in Colombo, Sri Lanka, on Feb. 1.
German Minister for Defense Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer (R) and German Minister for Health Jens Spahn give a joint statement in Bonn, Germany, on Feb. 1, on the evacuation of more than 100 German citizens from Wuhan following the coronavirus outbreak.
Arnaud Fontanet, director of global health department at Institut Pasteur, speaks during a news conference over the latest findings on coronavirus in Paris, France, on Jan. 31.
Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, director general of the World Health Organization, and Didier Houssin, chair of the emergency committee, at the opening of the second meeting of the International Health Regulations (IHR) Emergency Committee for Pneumonia due to the Novel Coronavirus 2019-nCoV in Geneva on Jan. 30.
Medical staff with protective clothing are seen inside a ward specialized in treating people who may have been infected with the virus, at the Rajiv Gandhi Government General hospital in Chennai, India, on Jan. 29.
Tedros Adhanom, Director-General of the World Health Organization (WHO), speaks during a news conference at the United Nations, in Geneva, on Jan. 29.
Passengers arriving on flights wear protective masks at the international airport in Auckland, New Zealand, on Jan. 29.
Students disinfect their hands before entering class at a school in Phnom Penh, on Jan. 28. Cambodia's health ministry reported the country's first case of coronavirus on Jan. 27.
A woman wearing a protective mask prays at the Lungshan Temple on the fourth day of the Lunar New Year, in Taipei, Taiwan, on Jan. 28.
Paramilitary officers wearing face masks stand guard at the Tiananmen Gate in Beijing, on Jan. 27.
Dr. David Williams, the chief medical officer of Ontario (C), speaks as Dr. Eileen de Villa, medical officer of health for the city of Toronto (L) and Dr. Barbara Yaffe, Ontario's associate chief medical officer of health, during a press briefing on coronavirus at Queens Park in Toronto, Canada, on Jan. 27. The Ontario health officials announced the confirmation of the first case of coronavirus in Toronto, along with a presumptive second case of the virus in the city.
Images captured by a thermographic imaging device to check the temperatures of arriving passengers at a quarantine station are seen on a monitor at the Oscar Arnulfo Romero International Airport in San Luis Talpa, El Salvador, on Jan. 26.
A security force member stands in front of the pandemic center where a suspected case of coronavirus is under observation at Félix Houphouët Boigny International Airport in Abidjan, Ivory Coast, on Jan. 26.
A banner placed by Indian health workers is seen during a coronavirus information camp for travelers at an India-Nepal border crossing, near Siliguri, India, on Jan. 26.
(L-R) Sabine Hagenauer of the infection department at the 4th medical department of Kaiser Franz Josef Hospital, Michael Binder, medical director of the Vienna Hospital Association, and Judith Aberle of the department of virology, Medical University Vienna, address a press conference at Kaiser-Franz-Josef hospital in Vienna, Austria, on Jan. 26. A Chinese flight attendant was quarantined in the hospital with symptoms of flu, in what authorities suspected as the first coronavirus case in the country.
A health worker checks the temperature of a woman entering a subway station in Beijing, on Jan. 25.
Dozens of diggers work to build a new hospital in Wuhan, on Jan. 25. Due to the large number of infected people, the government decided to establish a temporary 1,000-bed hospital.
Hong Kong Chief Executive Carrie Lam addresses a press conference in Hong Kong on Jan. 25. Announcing a citywide virus emergency, Lam ordered the cancellation of all official trips to mainland China and school shutdown till Feb. 17.
Security personnel wearing hazardous material suits measure body temperatures of passenger at the entrance of a subway station in Beijing on Jan. 25.
A disinfection worker wearing protective gear sprays anti-septic solution in a train at SRT train station in Seoul, on Jan. 24.
Sanitation workers spray a disinfectant at Suseo Station in Seoul, on Jan. 24.
A passenger holds up an Australian Government document pertaining to the coronavirus as passengers arrive at Sydney International Airport in Australia on Jan. 23.
Locals wear face masks while browsing in a store ahead of the Lunar New Year, in Taipei, on Jan. 23, 2020. A day earlier, Taiwan stopped sending tour groups to, or receiving tour groups from Wuhan, China, due to concerns over the cornonavirus outbreak.
Passengers arriving from China are screened at Kolkata International Airport, India, on Jan. 22, 2020. Screening centers have been set up in the Indian cities of Chennai, Bengaluru, Hyderabad and Cochin apart from three airports at Delhi, Mumbai and Kolkata to screen for the coronavirus.
People walk next to signage detailing hygienic practices to prevent the spread of the coronavirus at the Huashan Hospital in Shanghai, China, on Jan. 21.
And if that sounds deranged, remember: it’s your sanity or your job. No one said you could keep both.
Why shake hands when ‘alright?’ will do
Some are worried about germ transfer, the rest have hands that are red-raw and sore from constant washing. Either way, handshaking is fast going out of fashion this flu season — and would it be so terrible if it never came back in?
The traditional handshake greeting will not be easily prised from Britain’s firm grip. At least according to guidebooks for tourists and the Prime Minister, who has taken a Churchillian stance and vowed to continue handshaking his way through the crisis, even during official hospital visits.
Presumably that’s because, for your average Brit, even a nasty bout of flu is preferable to the social awkwardness of leaning in for one cheek kiss, being surprised by a second, and then saying “Ooh! Continental!” in a pathetic attempt to disguise your agitation. (And if you think the slow adoption of France’s two-kiss system was bad for Britain, consider that, in the Netherlands, the custom is for not one, not two, but three kisses. Disgusting.)
Happily, handshaking has never been particularly big round our way. In east London there are several alternative greeting traditions, all of which carry only a minimal infection risk. You can say “Alright?” and then the other person says, “Alright?” and then you’re done. You can aim an expressionless nod in their general direction.Or, for special occasions, there’s always the suggestive wink.
Morrison’s multifaceted magnificence
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Toni Morrison (Getty Images)
Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am is out tomorrow, in time for International Women’s Day, because — as the title of this documentary suggests — she was a woman of many aspects. The Nobel and Pulitzer Prize-winning author, pictured, was also a mother, a public intellectual, a teacher and an editor whose collaborators included Angela Davis and Muhammad Ali.
But the most charming example of Morrison’s multifaceted magnificence? She made the best carrot cake. The Best. “No one, not even my sister [comes] close... They don’t put enough carrot in!” she said.