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Behold the Boeing Jet-Powered Outhouse That Runs a 31-Second Quarter-Mile

The Drive logo The Drive 11/25/2021 By James Gilboy, The Drive
The best thing about world records is that you can just make one up, and people will consider it worth beating, even if it's for drinking a whole bottle of ketchup through a straw. © Provided by The Drive The best thing about world records is that you can just make one up, and people will consider it worth beating, even if it's for drinking a whole bottle of ketchup through a straw.

The best thing about world records is that you can just make one up, and people will consider it worth beating, even if it's for drinking a whole bottle of ketchup through a straw. We do this all the time in motorsport; records are endlessly subdivided by a vehicle's number of wheels, its street legality, propulsion type, bodywork, the surface it raced on, and so forth. Setting a new record is as simple as making sure your car doesn't fit any preexisting category, like a former IndyCar and NASCAR mechanic did when he built what's considered the world's fastest jet-powered outhouse: The Port-O-Jet.

This contraption was constructed sometime in the early 2000s by one Paul Stender, whom Autoblog identifies as a former race mechanic, and who's apparently known in some circles as "Jet Car Paul." Metro reports he built the machine in a week's time on an inflation-adjusted budget of under $10,000, utilizing a go-kart chassis, some scrap tubing for reinforcement, and a fake wood Country Classic outhouse for the body per Popular Science. Operating the outhouse required installing a twist throttle and hydraulic handbrake as well as extending the steering upward to a pair of handlebars. Of the driving experience, Stender unsurprisingly says it "drives a bit like an outhouse."

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But cornering comes second to straight-line speed, for which the outhouse was outfitted with a military surplus jet engine, specifically a Boeing T50 (or Model 502) turboshaft from a Navy minesweeper. Before you ask, no, it doesn't run on natural gas; it burns JP-4 jet fuel and produces 300 shaft horsepower. More important, though, is the hundreds of pounds of thrust it generates with its JP-8 afterburner, which according to Stender can push the outhouse up to 70 mph with a tailwind and onto a 31-second quarter-mile.

As such, the Port-O-Jet is sometimes regarded as the world's fastest outhouse, and though that's not (yet) a record officially tracked by Guinness, we haven't found anyone claiming the contrary. It would seem people aren't building a lot of jet-powered outhouses for obvious reasons, and instead--in the case of Stender's friend Tim Arfons--prefer jet-powered bar stools. Stender acknowledges having raced his outhouses against Arfons' bar stool four times, and he came away the winner twice. Sounds like we need people to build a bunch more jet cars like these so they can set up a league, and offer a form of barstool sports worth consuming.

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