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Sorry, We Are Not Breaking Up!

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Do not name-call

“I've had clients whose spouses have called them everything: bad parent, liar—every nasty word in the book. Just don't go there. You can't take it back, and people carry that stuff with them for years. In litigation, one spouse will say, ‘You called me a [blank] five years ago,’ and the other says, ‘I don't know what you're talking about!""You've got to choose your words wisely and learn to fight well. I really think that is the key to maintaining a marriage.""If my husband says something to me that's hurtful, I will say, ‘What was the purpose of that?’ I won't respond in kind or feed into it. Don't hit someone in a sensitive spot, like where they're insecure, especially if they've opened up to you about it. That's really hurtful. It destroys trust. People forgive, but they do not forget. Trust me.” —Jacqueline Newman, 38, partner at Berkman Bottger Newman & Rodd, LLP, New York; married for eight years to Jarrod, 40, also an attorney.
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