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Internet Backs Kicking Widower and His 4 Kids Out of Child-Free Wedding

Newsweek logo Newsweek 1/25/2022 Rebecca Flood
File photo of children at a wedding. The decision to kick a widower and his 4 kids out a wedding has been praised online. © DGLimages/Getty Images File photo of children at a wedding. The decision to kick a widower and his 4 kids out a wedding has been praised online.

The internet has backed the decision to kick a widower and his four children out of a child-free wedding, despite him being the husband's best friend.

A Redditor, posting under the username Upper-AD46567, shared the disaster which befell their wedding day to the site's Am I The A**hole subreddit.

They explained they and their husband, 30, had decided on a child-free wedding due to "venue choice, food choice, alcohol, location" and other factors. They "explained this rule in every invitation."

Among the guests was their husband's "bestie" Leo, who is a widower with four children.

Upper-AD46567, also 30, said Leo, 35, had "complained" and requested an exception, which was denied.

They seemingly thought that was the end of the issue until the wedding day itself, as the Redditor explained: "At the wedding my husband said he was worried his friend Leo may not come since "I" refused to let him bring his kids.

"But about almost an hour into the wedding, We start hearing noise from a distance. We look closely and see Leo standing there with his 4 kids dressed nicely. He was arguing with the staff about the kids not being allowed.

"I felt horrible because the staff was drilling that this an adult only wedding and the kids needed to leave but Leo kept arguing and went as far as yell out my husband's name telling him to come tell the staff off since it's "his" wedding. I was so upset and embarrassed but I kept my composure and went over to talk to Leo."

Despite arriving with kids in tow, Upper-AD46567 refused to budge, and told Leo he would need to "get the kids somewhere else and come back or just leave."

This didn't go down well, as they continued: "He acted offended saying this is his best friend's wedding and he was invited to it. I said I was sorry but the rule is followed by everybody, and everybody should respect that.

"He argued about how he wasn't just a random guest but was family but I said it still applies. I insisted he make his choice but he doubled down talking about how he couldn't find babysitter and how he shouldn't have to miss his best friend's wedding.

"I had the staff escort him and his kids out after he kept pushing which led to some of my husband's friends to complain saying Leo has special circumstances because he's a widower and it's essentially my fault for not providing babysitting options for guests."

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In the end they continued the wedding as normal, but Upper-AD46567 confessed their new husband was "angry."

"He said this is his best friend that I just caused to miss his wedding. he said Leo stopped answering his calls (til today) and respond to his messages because of what I did.

"Now my husband believes that I have just ruined his relationship with his friend when I could've just made an exception for him and the kids since they were there already," they said.

In an edit, they explained their husband was "on board" with the no-children rule, but "wanted me to make an exception for his friend and his friend only. My family and friends would've felt deeply hurt if I said yes."

More than 10,000 people upvoted the post since it was shared on Monday, as Redditors weighed in on the situation, which can be read in full here, and backed the decision to kick Leo out.

Codeverity wrote: "In OP's edit she says that hubby was on board but wanted an exception for his friend. Honestly I think he's TA, here."

Astra_Trillian pointed out: "At 30 years old it's possible no one else he invited had kids, so he was on board with the rule affecting her side but not his."

MajorNoodles stated: "You either invite all the kids or absolutely no kids. All exceptions do is breed resentment."

Decent_Bandicoot122 fumed: "Exactly! His friend's kids can come but her siblings kids can't? If hubby wanted him there so bad, he should have worked out getting him a babysitter."

There's clear etiquette when it comes to having a child-free wedding, website Hitched claims, which includes having a blanket rule either way.

They said: "It's best to stick to children invited or no children invited, but we appreciate there will be circumstances with exceptions to this.

"We'd recommend you draw the line at either the children of immediate family and/or the wedding party (e.g. the bridesmaids' or groomsmen's children). If all your loved ones are at the wedding, then there's unlikely to be anyone free to look after the kids so it's pretty unavoidable.

"A flower girl and page boy can be a wonderful addition to the day and you are more than welcome to invite them without inviting other children, especially if they're a bit older. A three-year-old flower girl may look cute but be aware she'll require more attention than having a seven year old."

Newsweek has reached out to Upper-AD46567 for comment.

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