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This Is the Worst Thing You Could Say to Someone Who's Grieving

Best Life Logo By Alesandra Dubin of Best Life | Slide 1 of 5: When someone is grieving a loss, you only want to comfort them. But it can be hard to know the right thing to say to a friend or family member in such a vulnerable moment. And even our best-intended comments could come off as hurtful if we don't choose our words carefully. Of course, preparedness helps. So we talked to experts in grief and communication to help understand which words hurt, and which ones are better alternatives. In regards to the former, according to the experts, there's one phrase you should never say to someone who is grieving: "Everything happens for a reason." While on its face, this comment is intended to reassure, it actually can have the complete opposite effect. "Variations of this phrase are probably top five when it comes to grief responses, yet it's the least warm and nearly void of emotion. Using a stock phrase like this can indicate lack of thoughtfulness and feel isolating rather than comforting," says licensed mental health counselor Danielle Friedman of Free Space Counseling. "While there is value in trying to create meaning from loss, it's not during the beginning stages of grief. And even if you can create a meaning that is valuable from your loss, saying that there was a reason carries with it that the loss was correct rather than a tragedy."St. Joseph's College assistant professor Thomas DiBlasi, a licensed clinical psychologist, agrees. "These statements are invalidating and downplay what the person is experiencing," he says. "The implicit underlying message is that the individual should not be upset. Instead, the best approach is to validate the individual and let them know you are there for them." Read on for more expert-backed tips on what not to say to someone who's grieving. And for more words to avoid for the sake of sensitivity, check out This Is the One Word You Should Never Say to Someone With Anxiety.Read the original article on Best Life.

This Is the Worst Thing You Could Say to Someone Who's Grieving

When someone is grieving a loss, you only want to comfort them. But it can be hard to know the right thing to say to a friend or family member in such a vulnerable moment. And even our best-intended comments could come off as hurtful if we don't choose our words carefully. Of course, preparedness helps. So we talked to experts in grief and communication to help understand which words hurt, and which ones are better alternatives. In regards to the former, according to the experts, there's one phrase you should never say to someone who is grieving: "Everything happens for a reason."

While on its face, this comment is intended to reassure, it actually can have the complete opposite effect. "Variations of this phrase are probably top five when it comes to grief responses, yet it's the least warm and nearly void of emotion. Using a stock phrase like this can indicate lack of thoughtfulness and feel isolating rather than comforting," says licensed mental health counselor Danielle Friedman of Free Space Counseling. "While there is value in trying to create meaning from loss, it's not during the beginning stages of grief. And even if you can create a meaning that is valuable from your loss, saying that there was a reason carries with it that the loss was correct rather than a tragedy."

St. Joseph's College assistant professor Thomas DiBlasi, a licensed clinical psychologist, agrees. "These statements are invalidating and downplay what the person is experiencing," he says. "The implicit underlying message is that the individual should not be upset. Instead, the best approach is to validate the individual and let them know you are there for them." Read on for more expert-backed tips on what not to say to someone who's grieving. And for more words to avoid for the sake of sensitivity, check out This Is the One Word You Should Never Say to Someone With Anxiety.

Read the original article on Best Life.

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