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Cerabino: Short takes on the news: Some people say you wanna buy a banana

The Palm Beach Post logo The Palm Beach Post 12/6/2019 By Frank Cerabino, The Palm Beach Post, Fla.

Short takes on the news, Volume No. 29:

Bringing new meaning to the expression "a shower of bullets"

A gift given at a North Florida baby shower turned out to be not what was advertised.

The gift, bought at a Goodwill store in Valparaiso, appeared to be a Baby Einstein bouncy chair. And it was at a bargain price too: $9.99

But when the expectant father opened the box, there was no chair inside, much to everybody's surprise, police said.

"You got me a gun!" the father said, according to The Panama City News Herald.

There was a loaded .22 Mossberg rifle with a box of ammunition inside the bouncy seat box.

The parents, who were not felons, called law enforcement officers, who told them they could legally keep the erroneously-gifted rifle. But the next day, they turned it over to the local sheriff's office.

The "some people" people -- who are believed to be affiliated with the "people say" people -- have struck again!

"You know, some people want to change the name 'Thanksgiving,'" President Donald Trump said at a political rally in Broward County last month. "They don't want to use the term, 'Thanksgiving.'

"And that was true also with 'Christmas,' but now everybody is using 'Christmas' again."

Or if you'd rather take it easy, you can just make a big bowl of guacamole and watch the game on your couch

The state of Florida has decided to cross-promote the upcoming annual hunt for gigantic snakes in the Everglades with Miami hosting the NFL SuperBowl.

Gov. Ron DeSantis has branded the upcoming hunt for the exotic and problematic Burmese pythons as the "2020 Python Bowl", urging Floridians to sign up for training to compete for prizes.

The snakes, which have been multiplying in South Florida's nature preserves, reach lengths of about 18 feet and eat many of the other creatures there.

The prizes in the upcoming hunt include $2,000 for the longest python and an all-terrain vehicle for the most pythons caught.

The logo for the snake hunt includes a football soaring over a coiled snake.

Correction: Life is long, and art is short ... and in a few days will turn brown

A banana that is duct-taped to a wall was put on sale this week at a renowned annual art festival in Miami Beach.

The banana, bought from a Miami grocery store, is affixed to a wall with a single piece of gray duct tape.

It is for sale at Art Basel for about $120,000.

The artist, Maurizio Cattelan, calls the piece, "Comedian."

The banana is "a symbol of global trade, a double entendre, as well as a classic device for humor," the gallery's owner told CNN.

(The $120,000 price tag is pretty humorous too.)

This headline has been redacted by "some people" for privacy reasons. Nothing to see here. Go away.

A bill filed in the Florida legislature would create a new public records exemption for the home addresses and phone numbers of Florida's governor, Cabinet members and House and Senate lawmakers. It would also exempt the information for their children and spouses.

"Members of the Legislature and the Cabinet are often confronted with making difficult and impactful policy decisions," reads the bill filed by Florida Sen. Kelli Stargel, R-Lakeland. "As a result, legislators and Cabinet officers, and their families may receive threats including, but not limited to, verbal threats, harassment, and intimidation as a result of carrying out their official duties."

"Vulnerability to such threats may discourage residents of this state from seeking elected office in order to protect themselves and their families."

The bill would do nothing to ensure the safety of the vulnerable guy who has $120,000 to spend on a banana.

fcerabino@pbpost.com

@FranklyFlorida

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©2019 The Palm Beach Post (West Palm Beach, Fla.)

Visit The Palm Beach Post (West Palm Beach, Fla.) at www.palmbeachpost.com

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