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What Happens When Soulmates & Kindred Spirits With Polar Opposite Personality Traits Fall In Love

YourTango logo YourTango 8/1/2018 YourTango

7 Differences Between Extroverts Vs Introverts As Soulmates & Kindred Spirits, According To Myers-Briggs Types © Provided by NewsCred 7 Differences Between Extroverts Vs Introverts As Soulmates & Kindred Spirits, According To Myers-Briggs Types

It's no secret that opposites attract, so it should come as no surprise that many relationships between people identifying as soulmates and kindred spirits are pairings between introverts and extroverts.

The personality traits typically associated with introverts often lead people to perceive them as quiet and shy, whereas those associated with extroverts lead people to perceive them as loud and outgoing.

However, when people speak of these personality types as conceptualized by Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung, the terms introvert and extrovert simply explain "different attitudes people use to direct their energy."

Everyone has a little bit of both within them, so when someone taking the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator/MBTI (the official name of the well-known personality test) shows a tendency toward introversion, it means they gain energy by directing their attention inward on their rich inner world of ideas, whereas someone who shows a tendency toward extroversion gains energy from directing their attention outward on the dynamic world of people and activities.

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RELATED: 3 Things Extroverts NEED To Know About Loving An Introvert

When an introvert and extrovert first meet, sparks can definitely fly! At times, however, their differences can lead to misunderstandings, causing tensions between even the most loving partners to rise.

An extrovert might grow frustrated their introvert partner prefers staying home on the weekends, leaving them feeling restless and bored, as well as hurt that their partner doesn't want to spend time having adventures together. The introvert, on the other hand, knows they need to allow their brain to shut off for a while after a busy week, and in return may feel unappreciated and uncared for when their extroverted partner keeps pushing them to get out and do something.

In truth, the extrovert isn't uncaring and the introvert isn't disinterested — they merely have different needs that neither knows how to communicate to the other.

There's no better or worse when it comes to being an introvert or extrovert, but having a better understanding of how and why these two types of people differ can have a huge impact on the overall quality of your love life!

Here are 7 key differences between soulmates and kindred spirits with personality traits of introverts vs. extroverts, according to their Myers-Briggs personality types.

1. Their way of thinking

To an introvert, silence is golden. They process their thoughts, then they speak ... and then they think some more. They don't need to hear their own voice in order to think something through, and they don't want to feel pressured to speak about or decide on anything until they're fully ready to do so.

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Extroverts, in contrast, think as they're hearing the words come out of their mouths, which is why they sometimes later regret what they've said and find themselves having to apologize and rewind. It's not that they're insensitive, but rather that they prefer taking action. Do-think-do is their typical mode of operation.

2. Their definition of "downtime"

Introverts become physically and emotionally drained more easily than extroverts do. They need longer breaks to recharge, and hectic schedules with back-to-back meetings or long events are too much for to handle, causing them to feel overwhelmed and exhausted.

Extroverts need downtime, too, but they regain energy by being active and around people. Smaller breaks throughout the day do the trick, and then they are ready for more action and interaction. In fact, with too much downtime, they are likely to grow bored and agitated.

3. Their friendships

Introverts aren't antisocial, they simply prefer having a few dear friends they can put their trust in than the many acquaintances extroverts bring into their circle.

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Introverts are selective and loyal, saving their best selves for those closest to them, while extroverts make friends wherever they go and enjoy variety in their friend groups. They keep a full social calendar and can only tolerate being alone for short periods of time.

RELATED: 20 Perfect Examples Of What It's Like To Be An Extroverted Introvert

4. Their areas of interest

Introverts care deeply about most everything they touch, so much so it might seem as though they become obsessed with certain subjects and hobbies. They want to know as much as they possibly can about something they find interesting, as this makes them feel more competent. When speaking about something they love, introverts become so animated and enthusiastic you might not even recognize their introversion.

Extroverts have more varied interests and seek to learn about a wide variety of subjects. They don't need to know much before engaging in an activity, as they're always ready to dive in and try something new.

5. Their areas of focus

They are pensive and reflective people who focus their energy on ideas. They enjoy sitting quietly, getting lost in their thoughts. When it looks as though an introvert may be in a trance, they are likely to be concentrating deeply on something. Better not to interrupt them!

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Extroverts, on the other hand, are easily distracted, with their minds and eyes always scanning for something new and exciting.

6. Their core tendencies

Introverts don't hold back from expressing themselves to you intentionally; it's in their nature to be more self-contained, private, and cautious. They tend to be less verbally expressive and harder to read, which is why many prefer to communicate — and bare their soul — in writing.

Extroverts are naturally more gregarious, casual and trusting with others. They communicate openly with pretty much anyone about virtually anything, and they enjoy being the center of attention.

7. Their connections with others

Introverts are most energized when they connecting with themselves first and then with others. They prefer to speak only after they have thought something through, and even then, only if they believe it is essential.

Most introverts prefer small group or one-on-one settings in which they can connect on an intimate level, although they are capable of excelling in front of large groups, when necessary. Don't be surprised or offended if they're the first to slip out of a party so they can get back home to their sanctuary and decompress!

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Extroverts tend to be more outspoken and find it easier to take initiative, whether at work or in their personal lives. They thrive in social situations that give them a chance to mingle and engage. This can be a sore spot for introverted partners who mistake friendly conversation for romantic interest, but try not to be jealous. You're probably not far from their thoughts!

When we make assumptions and judgments about people in our lives, we miss the richness of their personalities.

Getting to know the root of the differences between introverts and extroverts can help you view someone whose personality type is the opposite of yours with a new level of appreciation, and learning to compromise and appreciate what each of you bring to the relationship means you can be happier and healthier together than ever before!

RELATED: Science Says Introverts Should Date Extroverts (And Vice-Versa)

Lisa Petsinis is a certified coach and certified Myers-Briggs® type Indicator practitioner. Contact her if you'd like to discover your type and learn how you can use it to enrich your work, relationships, and life, starting today. You can also sign up for Lisa’s newsletter for even more advice.

This article was written by Lisa Petsinis from YourTango and was legally licensed through the NewsCred publisher network. Please direct all licensing questions to


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