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SwampButt Underwear declares Texans coach world’s ‘luckiest man’

The Plain Dealer  Cleveland logo The Plain Dealer Cleveland 1/14/2020 By Marc Bona,

CLEVELAND, Ohio - In a unique grassroots sports-marketing promotion, the makers of SwampButt Underwear announced that the company declared Houston Texans coach Bill O'Brien the "luckiest man on planet Earth."

The Texas-based company chose to make the announcement late Monday during the third quarter of the National Championship game between LSU and Clemson. Why O'Brien? Sunday, his team folded after jumping to a 21-0 first-quarter lead against Kansas City before being trounced 51-31.

But that was overshadowed in a big way when news broke Monday that the Houston Astros had fired general manager Jeff Luhnow and manager A.J. Hinch for their roles in a sign-stealing scandal affecting baseball games in 2017 and 2018.

“No one was happier to have a distraction like this than Bill O’Brien,” SwampButt Underwear spokesman Nick Heraldson said in a release. “The odds of the sports scene in Houston getting worse after the Texans game on Sunday were beyond astronomical. Only the owner of another professional sports franchise could exceed the dismal, defenseless confusion of the Houston Texans with a move like this.”

SwampButt - which bills itself as "underwear for hot people" - manufactures and markets underwear for men "who sweat a lot south of their beltlines." It's made with a Lycra and Polyester blend and designed to wick and evaporate sweat.

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