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The Internet Has Some, Uh, Theories About the Broccoli’s Identity on ‘Masked Singer’

Cosmopolitan logo Cosmopolitan 10/28/2020 Mehera Bonner
a close up of a toy © Instagram

Wow, as if broccoli wasn’t bad enough as a mere vegetable, it’s now come alive to terrorize the world at large on The Masked Singer season 4. This sinister member of the cabbage family (I looked it up) has ruined leafy greens for me until further notice, and the time has come to determine what poor D-list celebrity is lurking inside its stalk, begging to be freed.

Before we get to the theories, FYI that the Broccoli is a member of Group C—which is performing tonight (October 28) for the very first time. This means the show hasn’t aired very many clues thus far—but fear not. Due to The Masked Singer being terrible at keeping its own damn secrets, there are already some solid theories floating around about who the Broccoli is.

The Clues

You might THINK all we have to go on ahead of tonight’s episode is this preview…

Replay Video

…but you’d be wrong. Despite The Masked Singer deleting early clue packages from its YouTube channel (frankly, suspicious), they still exist on Twitter—which means we have THIS:

Two things to note:

  1. The expression “It’s always raining at least two men when I’m around.”
  2. A gold chain with what looks to be headphones on it (but honestly, I can’t get a super-clear view).

The Theories

A Member of Boyz II Men

Some fans are pointing to that “raining at least two men” reference as evidence that a Boyz II Men member is inside the Broccoli. I mean, that’d be a pretty obvious clue even for this show, but sure!

Someone From Two and a Half Men

Specifically, Ashton Kutcher, to which I say: Guys. No. HE. WOULD. NEVER. Charlie Sheen, on the other hand, is an idea I’m willing to entertain.

James Harden

Fans are pointing out that the Broccoli’s pants are similar to the Oklahoma City Thunder’s team colors (James’s former team, duh), and let’s not forget that James once partnered with Beats by Dre—which could be why Broccoli is wearing that headphones necklace.

Seth Rogen

This theory is based on nothing but the fact that people think the Broccoli gives off vague Seth Rogen ~vibes~ in the below photo. To which I say…they are not wrong.

But also, the Broccoli does sound a lot like Seth, and doing this show def seems like the kind of weird career move he’d make, so.

Wow! Can’t wait to find out who the Broccoli is! What a terrible time for vegetables as a brand!

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